Be likeable and easy to get along with.
Pretty much that’s it.
Ok, you have to be going for excellent in some way.
You have to be better than good at what you do.
But how to be likeable?
That’s the meat of the sandwich. (Unless you’re a vegan.)
I have seen many instances of people trying to climb the corporate ladder and stepping
on others to gain position or stature. It’s ugly. It’s nothing anyone wants to be around.
Even outside of work, you know when you’re being gamed. You know when someone
thinks something less than good about you, or is just trying to put you beneath them.
You can sense it when you walk away from an interaction with that person and you
feel odd about it. That can be clue #1. I find that my suspicions are most often right
when I get my spidey sense tingling in that way. It ’s a pattern that you’re finding,
not an instance. Not that I’ll know why, just that somethings up. In my past that has
triggered a response mechanism of trying too hard in either direction.
Either I’ll try to be nicer to that person to get approval, or I dismiss them and start
treating them with a certain level of contempt. Neither one gets me to place I want to be.
Mostly I realize what I’m doing because I don’t like how I’m living my life as a result.
It eeps into most corners of my day, and really, I become kind of a jerk inside my own head.
The biggest thing I have realized was that all of that actually is up to me.
How I react becomes who I am to other people.
To deal with it I have had to be alone and do something that could get my head and heart to a good spot.
I would do something that I like doing. Something that is me.
Then, when I am in my right thinking mind from that, I bring up the thoughts to myself
that were dragging me down. Pretty quickly I put them into perspective and am able to,
as one of my good friends Rich Beck, Master guitar luthier
“blow it off like a bad smell.”
I think we all have jerks in side of us.
But we all have likability and all the good stuff too.
We don’t seem to realize the keys to success until we are looking back.
There are so many triggers of emotion that the fight or flight response kicks us
in a certain direction and we respond automatically without any real control or knowledge
of those emotions. To be overly general, Men think feelings are weak and women are more
engaged in emotions. Let’s just say we humans don’t give enough credit to what role
emotions actually play in our personalities and how we put ourselves out there
in the world.
My wrap on this is that if you are likable and easy to be around,
more things come your way professionally and personally.
You attract in others what you feed in to them.
So it’s your best targeted approach professionally and personally.
The bigger question is how do you want to live your life and what is success, really, to you?
Oh, and try not to smell bad either.