When What’s Seen Isn’t The Real Story


Your facts are deceiving


To start with how about we don’t make things into such a big offense?
Our fuses get lit so easily it seems.
Other people are always the problem aren’t they?
They just don’t get it.


Have you ever seen this scenario?
You’re trying to find a parking spot in a crowded lot. There’s one, you think. As you roll up to it,  you see that there’s just barely not enough room for you to squeeze in because of how one car was crossing the parking spot lines and taking up two spaces. It’s not a Ferrari or something you could find a reason for. So you start wondering what’s wrong with that person. You go park far away and walk, murmuring to yourself the wrong of that situation.


Days later, you’re back looking for another spot. You find a close spot and it’s like it was two days previous. This time though, you can squeeze in, so you do. You come back out after shopping and the other cars are now gone, leaving your vehicle with room around it. Others looking for a spot see you and make rude gestures and even shout at you from the safety of their cars. You look at your park job. You are exactly in the middle of the painted lanes taking up two spots. Other cars have filled in around you to occupy the proper lanes on both sides. You also don’t have a Ferrari. You now are the problem parker.


It’s not always what you think upon first glance.


This isn’t a real serious situation.
Still, people get bent out of shape about this level of infraction.
It does serve to  illustrate how we can look at something as a fact without allowing for any explanation and immediately think the worst of people.
How much of that will you bring into your day?
How you react is mostly who you are.


Sometimes when we pause, we’re in a bad spot.
Sometimes, even when we’re settled in nicely, we call out others for the many available injustices when it’s only us that needs to be corrected by decency.


Check your facts to see how they’re parked.


Shaping The Habits Of Old Age



When you get to old-age it is said that you become more of what you are.
You draw on all your previous thoughts and ways of seeing your world.
Obviously your world is different at 80 than it is in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s.
Each decade has it’s areas of change and growth.


How will I enjoy my late life?
How can I get to contentment with all the amendment by then?

I can start by enjoying my now life.

I can draw on that and become more of that for the rest of my days.
It’s as easy as listening to the wind blow through the trees and appreciating it whether it’s a storm or a bright sunny calm summer day.


Everything in life starts with a conscious choice that you have convinced yourself to act on until the habit becomes a part of you.


Remember that what goes in to your auditory senses, mixes about and comes back out.

What comes out is your interpretation of what went in. That’s what you share with others.

I would rather be appreciated and still someone others want to be around rather than put away or handled.
You’re not done yet.

Learning to appreciate the day by the end of it lasts more than a lifetime.


Looking In The Recesses


I haven’t had baked beans in a long time


I just kind of forgot about them.
I saw them deep in the cupboard while foraging for what to make for dinner.
You know the moment, You look at the can and kinda mentally taste it.
A whole lotta info gets sifted in those few seconds of judgement.


I don’t know, they seem kinda basic, maybe a bit too picnic-y for me. I’m not saying I’m better than the baked bean lifestyle, I don’t even know what that is. There’s probably funky shorts and ratty sandals involved. But I decided to break out the bakers and eat them with a burger.


Holy wood stump were they good!


I guess it’s true, all those sayings like distance makes the heart grow fond.
I’m going to explore a few more things like this.


The storied magic of beans dissipates as quickly as the expected excess of bad air they are legend to produce.
I don’t think I’ll be having baked beans again soon because the allure is gone. But I know there’s other things in my cupboard that might have been there for a year that I’ll have a great time trying again.
What, I’m not gonna throw it out unless I have to. Like spam, that stuff is about as good as bad gets.


I gave up on the potted meat. They don’t even try coming up with a name for it. It’s just what it is – potted meat. What is that, could it take root? For all I know Spam is potted meat,  but I’ll eat Spam cuz it has a name to connect to.
I don’t think the potted meat had an expiration date but I gave it one. It was bought more as a joke anyway.


Some things are kept in the recesses for a reason and others are undervalued, even just forgotten. Most everything has that moment where you look at it and see it’s best. That’s what got me to buy in to it in the first place.


I’m sure there’s some friends I have that are like the baked beans. I should look ‘em up.
If you can dig past the spam, you probably have a few cans of baked beans too.
Sometimes the background of your life is worth bringing back to the forefront and sometimes it just causes bad air.
Still, it’s worth a look.


Who You Gonna Call?

How deep is that list?

When you get that piece of news, something great to share – who do you think to call first? That’s the stuff you can take with you.
What you share will live for a long time.
Years from now “remember when we…” takes a high place in a friends esteem.
Great connection changes people, small increments at a time.

goiG’s Contracted Water


My corporate identity.

They treated me like a number and so I acted like one.
I worked 3rd shift – all night long.
It’s my relationship to the movie Office Space.


In the office at the front desk the plants were dying.  Me and my fellow number identifiers left a note that we watered them so they wouldn’t get either none or too much from 1st shift.
That led to a corporate memo saying that we have a contract with a company who comes in and waters them so we aren’t allowed to.


My next note to 1st shift had one of the plant stems acting as an arm, holding a pen next to a sticky note that read “Feed me – signed, the plant.”


Another corporate memo and a mini breakdown from the receptionist.


goiG and his fellow co-workers were the problem here.
The work we were there to do? That was done properly and on time. That was boring enough. But this level of nutty was more than a person can reasonably be expected not to react to.
It was as reactive in it’s direction as the over-reaching stupidity of a corporate control mechanism designed to keep the minions in their place was.
My corporate number was 9016, but I was known as goiG.

Because I love these so much, feel free to post any of your “Office Space” moments in the comments section below.

How To Be Normal And Healthy

You Need An
Out Of Body Experience
To See Yourself


We want to move towards what’s normal and healthy.
Sometimes they seem like contradictions.


First establish what your normal is and what healthy is so you know what that looks like.
These can be online personality tests such as Myers/Briggs.
This can be done by introspection or understanding of your experiences.
How you see the world while at rest is unique to you.
You’re never done finding this out but to know yourself without pretenses is the goal.


How do you get to normal?
By believing in yourself.
By not acting on what others think.
Normal is not the average of what everybody does,
it’s what is your center, your default, You.


Belief is having confidence in something intangible, untouchable.
To believe, we have to get outside of ourselves – disconnect you from you for a moment.
We’re too logical and demand proof.
Spirituality and belief confuse us in that way.


How do you get to believe in yourself?
If belief is confidence in the intangible, you’re too close to yourself.
Get outside of yourself.


How do you get outside of yourself?
It always involves getting out of the way.
That’s a God / Spiritual thing.

Spirituality, Prayer, Meditation, Sweats all help us with out of body and mind type of practices that remove our self–doubt and unbalanced emotion and see things for what they really are, with more objectivity. It boosts our ability to get out of our head by bolstering our confidence in something bigger than us.

Belief in bigger, better things leads you to a more healthy way of thinking.
Define normal to you, seek healthy by moving outward.
Just as your body surrounds and pushes out toxins, so can you fill up with better and push out the unhealthy.


After that you just keep trying, forevermore.
Trying is normal and healthy.
So is not fooling yourself.


Who Cares?

Are you capable of caring for someone else or their situation?

Caring looks like what they think it is – not as much what you think it is.
You can only do what you are able to. But realize the boundaries.
If someone asks you to house sit, you don’t come in and rearrange the furniture.
Reorganizing their house would be how you live and not of much help ultimately.
If they ask for you to care for their child, they have rules that they abide by – do you feed them whatever you want, let them do anything?
Your version of caring helps another person when it’s the best you can do about what the other person cares about.

The Junker In My Life

Is Your Car You?

I’m hanging out with a friend who drives this wonderfully junky car.
Of course it’s got a name, and it should.
This person, I think, is maybe a little embarrassed by the car.
I guess I’m not sure but there’s usually some tone approaching apology about the car from them. Mostly, they don’t care that much.
Here’s the thing though, they live a life that most of us would like to be living.
They’re free to create, and they do. They’re surrounded by their fun choices, their works of art – which are many and in many forms. They live a rich life with many well developed relationships. They walk around town saying hi to people and engaging with people and laughing and having a good time. They’re not playing the game that often starts early in life with a car payment and keeping up with what others have.
Would they like to have a new car? Sure they would.
Would they be this way if they had money and were busy keeping up with the Joneses?
Maybe a little but almost certainly they would not be as engaged in the benefits of care-free living if they had increasingly more to lose. The pressure to keep it can often outweigh the acceptance of their current level.
We’ve all got some struggles, but I’ll take their happier life and a crappy car.
One day you can upgrade to a better car.
Finding the way to make that metaphorical, to be living the concept, is the pursuit.
How far along in life are we gonna get before we realize that a certain behavior is too deep seeded to change now?
How far along in life are we gonna get before we put the priority on the things that really matter?
It’s always such a contradiction that what we seek isn’t best for us to actually reach.
It’s the process that makes us.
Always having something to reach for, to better ourselves, is the value.
Reaching goals means you get to set new ones.
Should we keep fixing up this junker?
We’re all broken to some degree.
Even a new car has flaws.

Why Fear Freedom?

We rise up
when our choices are taken away.
We stay put
when our choices are available.

I don’t use the term “chores” around our house.
It doesn’t sound like something I want to do.
There are things to be done still no matter what you call it.
But if I want a clean house, I’ll say that I need to clean.


When I pull my head off the pillow I don’t want to say – “I have to go to work.”
It doesn’t sound like something I want to do.
But when I tell myself what things I get to do today, and what result they will bring,
I get energized to do them.


I’d prefer we don’t use much of the word “can’t” in our house.
It doesn’t sound like something I want to do.
Most often can’t actually means won’t.


What we tell ourselves become the changes to our lives.
Make the refinements yourself that you want to see.
Even if others don’t follow the lead, your life is reflecting your amendments.
But others will follow your lead.
Others will benefit from your good decisions.


The older we grow the more programmed our options become.
It gets harder and harder to convince yourself to make a switch.
But that’s what freedom really is.
This is what was fought for – your ability to run your own life
with a full palette of possibilities.


You are free to make the best decisions for your day.
Your say becomes your day and your days become your ways.
That is what changing the world around you looks like in practice.
Fix the parts that you want to work better all by yourself.


One-Click Change

Click. Done.

Save As…


Are you under the misguided idea that any one of your problems can be solved with a one click mentality?  Do you think that solving one problem at a time and denying that they are connected by your philosophy, your outlook, is going to solve the problem at all?
Do you believe that one single moment of realization will change everything without you having to do the work?


Not going to happen.


Realization is the catalyst.
Change happens when you decide to do something differently than you’ve been doing. That is change. Change happens after you see things differently than the way you’ve been seeing it. An epiphany, a watershed moment. Then the work is made clear.
If you ask for patience what really happens is that you just get more opportunities to practice it. You’re eyes open to it. Stop looking for the magic pill, that requires no effort on your part.
Change doesn’t happen to you – you make the change.


If you don’t seek change from yourself, you’ll always be seeking change from others.