Changing Greys

Define Black, White and Grey

Did you ever have a strong opinion on something, state it for others to know about you and then come upon a piece of information in a video or an impassioned plea that changed your take?
I both love and don’t love when that happens.

First my reaction is – aw crap. Now what I said is making me the fool.
My second reaction is – well, it’s the same as I’ve always thought. My opinion can be a little of both in many cases.

It’s hard to have strong opinions because they generally mean you do not waiver. It’s a black and white opinion. Problem is, there are very few things that are that clear cut. Change mostly happens in the grey area. Most of the world and the opinions in it are forms of grey. Or is that gray – see?

This leads to inner peace that comes from an ability to both be flexible and still stand strong on opinions. It’s wise to set a few areas of higher importance. These are guiding our decisions. They are our principles. If you find those, they are hard to execute sometimes but you know that’s who you are.

You will not cheat on your spouse, or you will not harm people.
You will not… fill it in. Also, know your no matter what’s – the things you will do. These are based upon higher principles. They make the decisions that comes out of those principles easy to make.
The rest of the thousands of calls you have to make can be some of both sides.

I see it like this:
The highest/best and lowest/worst ends of the opinion and decision spectrum are black and white. They’re all the way out on the edge.
Their gravity keeps all the greys, or grays, contained in the middle.
Not having to be concerned about being right all the time brings peace through contentment.


The Generosity of Observance

Observance of Trendlines

When you observe what’s happening, there are clues to notice.
Those clues can lead to some perception bringing insight.
If you draw the line in the direction you see happening,
the perception most often leads to a logical conclusion not far off of that line.
It’s good to have an open mind and not to be judgmental before you know facts. It’s also good to make yourself aware of what you see playing out.

Prepare yourself with insight
you may not want to acknowledge

Let’s look at your career or another aspect of your life.
Would you draw a graph line over time in the up or down direction about it? How steep is that line? Is it more straight as a trend line or jagged, moving up and then down? Is it flatlining?
The point is to observe a trend as it has played out over time.
Remembering what you thought was going to happen and then getting a result brings you the experience of noticing your thoughts as they actually played out. You begin to qualify what grabs your attention and learn to trust your instincts.
People are not as good at hiding their thoughts as they think. They can’t hide feelings, especially if they haven’t done any introspection and are thus unaware of them.
There are always tells to notice.

Being observant is a generous act

Being observant is generous because it involves a connection to others for people to benefit from. That generosity is available to those who pick up on and acknowledge the information itself. Generous just as the person holding the flashlight in a dark room is, exposing perceptions of a world around them to light.
Observance attempts communication with people who don’t realize they are communicating with you.
It tells you what words cannot. It reveals a perception which is probably truth.
We are always communicating – sending signal.
We are not always listening. Listening is generous.
Listening and observing are receiving signal. That’s the part of communication most are missing. Modern culture is so taken with sending.
It can certainly help you on your path, giving you more information with which to decide. If handled with kindness, it is a chance at a deeper level of connection.
Verbal communication that can come from observation is a deeper level of life sharing.
Open your eyes, ears, mind and heart.
There’s signal out there waiting to be processed.
Your kindness will be noticed.

Statements Become You

Everybody’s got something

Once you find out that something,
you can let them have it and get on with it.
Great statement, I think.


We have many statements inside our heads.
But what good are they?
How do they translate into your real life?


The statements we make become our philosophies.
We make decisions many times a day according to our philosophies and we don’t even realize it.
This is a process of our habits.


Outside input brings new things to consider. Already held beliefs, or subjective thinking, leads to the testing of what was said; the proofing stage of comments.
Once accepted, outside comments can move to buy-in status leading to statements or declarations.


Statements repeated over time give us our worldview.
This philosophy is reinforced by choices made from this viewpoint.
Along the way we change our minds often depending on our associations and influences.
And in that journey, it helps to have friends and family who let us have our glitch without getting too bothered about it.
It let’s us figure it out for ourselves.


Our more productive philosophies are worth remembering because they help us understand how we get to our autonomic actions. Deeply held principles are what parents hand down to their kids and pay forward into generations of the way this family does things. Of course, be wary of the negative, counter productive beliefs which can also become an ideology and take root just the same.


For the inner circle around you, cut them some slack. Hopefully they’re in the process of figuring out some of this reasoning.
Everybody’s got something, let them have it and move on.
Isn’t that what you want them to do for you?


Think about what you think about.
Your thoughts become your words,
and your statements become you.


Mind Your Own Business

Be Your Own Boss

I can still hear my Dad saying it.
It’s a mentality that I like.
It’s one that says “I’m done trying to impress you.”
Rather than impress, why not relate?


To be my best, I want contentment with my own work.
If I’m proud of my work, I can find others with whom it will resonate.
If that’s not you, that’s ok.


A great way to be your own boss and find contentment, even if you are doing work for another company, is to be yourself. No airs, no fake fronts. Just be you. The reason is that connection to others is easier when you do. It’s also real.


It’s connection in some way that leads to commerce.
Dig in and work for/on yourself.
Nobody else has your dream but many share pieces of it.
Find them and you find your community.
It’s easier now than ever to find people of like needs and shared interest. Current technology aside, it’s always been that way whether you care to admit it or not.


You always come home to you.
You are doing the work of your craft for your own – your family’s – benefit. You are working for yourself.
It really shouldn’t be showing up for a job, rather, a paycheck, that you didn’t think about doing before you spent years going to work at it. Think about what you want to do and head in that direction.


Where you work isn’t the point.
You are still in business for yourself.
And your business is yourself.


Choose well, or keep choosing.


When Communication Is Not

There is flexibility within communication.
Flexibility attempts to reach an understanding of the point.
As long as we are seeking connection.


Flexibility’s opposite is assumption.
That says see it my way.
Assumption is not communication.
It’s closer to direction.
Direction is only half of communication.
Direction without understanding is ineffective.
A lack of understanding is then not really communication at all.


So how do we get one to understand us?


Good communication is two-way input and output
that leads to understanding.
It’s really that simple.

Honor your Struggle

The struggle is essential to doing anything worthwhile


There are obstacles to overcome, always.
They may have little or nothing to do with your chosen enterprise.
In order to move forward with your goals, you must solve them or stagnate.


Rather than bemoaning the problems that arise, you must force yourself to realize that this is actually the path to your goal. It’s you actively realizing your dream.


What you gain from solving issues fills you up in ways you never imagined as being central to your pursuit. You are empowered bit by bit through the difficulties. It not only pushes you forward in your working progress, but it prepares you with fortitude and determination.


When things are easy there is little invested. When things fail, along with the pain, it allows the growth and experience needed as part of the process to be less harsh, leading a charge of small successes propelling you through what comes next.


Quitting, by contrast, tells the story to the last page, right away.


It should be hard because changing a person is not what we thought our goal really was.
Rest assured that it is.
We are being prepared, taught. You need the struggle to succeed.
Find a comfort in knowing your struggle.
It means your dream is really happening.
Push on.


Are You Invested?


Consider carefully your investments

Not money but time.
What do you invest your time doing?
What is your practice in what you build towards?


Investing your time leads to everything.
It builds. It compounds. It is a root practice.
Those not engaging in it choose to their detriment.
Settling, complacency and selfishness are the opposites.


Investing means putting in time that is difficult up front, such that there is less or no repercussive action from the handling of a tough decision.
Investing means putting your energy into the right vehicle that produces fruit into the future.
Investing means sacrificing something now so that it can grow later. That which grows from proper investment, compounds.
Investing is an ability to see beyond yourself towards something that has a chance to fail.
Investments always build a piece of what eventually produces good results.


You are an investor.
Not all investments work.
But those that do are life changing for generations.
That’s worth your time.


No It’s True–I Read It Online

Where a message is located
determines how you read it


If it’s on the Internet, that occupies a certain way that you read things even though it’s different if it’s an ad versus a blog.
If it’s a roadside sign, that reads a little differently than a billboard, but they both give you the time to take it in and think about it.
A good old-fashioned book puts you in the right frame of mind from the get-go.


I suppose the question really is how do we ingest things to allow it to be considered the way the writer intended?
We skim over so much and let it blow right on by.
That includes conversations.
We miss the poignancy of a well-placed phrase. Or we miss the potential of sage advice, and thus the heart of what’s trying to be given.


I don’t suppose it’s going to get that much better soon with the curve of a short attention span in media soaking. I hope for a resurgence on what is relational after we get used to the technological capabilities of a newer era. It’s about how we as humans relate to the information and the person.
It’s why the machines won’t ever take over.


The heart is really where the message is located and how it’s read.


Your best quality is also your worst

A flipped coin has
two sides to choose from


She really listens to people. When you talk with her you feel like she’s really in the moment with you, giving full attention. This is maybe her best quality. Only problem is, she’s an hour late for picking up her daughter.
Coach is tough on his team and gets the best out them by expecting a lot. His tough exterior makes listening to him the only option, and he wins as a result. His ability to get results from his team is maybe his best quality. The thing is, his kids have a drill sergeant and not a Dad they can talk to. He tells well but doesn’t listen much.


Think about anyone’s best quality and the polar opposite is equally true as one of their misgivings.


One thing I have seen is that lauding a person’s best quality brings more of that from them. We all feel good about making someone else feel good and this is a tangible, pointed out method that they have been made aware of. So with a clear path to what works, they do it again and again.


Calling out a person’s worst quality reinforces that as well and worse yet, they feel bad about themselves. The one calling it out is the catalyst for that injured retort that comes shooting back out.
Choose purposefully.


There’s a difference between being constructive to make aware and being consistently, detrimentally negative. How you follow through on the rest of your communication to uplift and encourage is the filter allowing a problem to be discussed and sorted through by someone else. And done the minority of time spent with them.


We’re not all we’re cracked up to be. We are all cracked.
As good as we can be, we’re only human.
Cut yourself a break so you can give it to others too.
Hopefully we’re all trying.


The Sharing of Experience


Sharing is the point where
experience brings value

Knowledge is the learning of information.
What we do with that knowledge is the value of information in our lives.
It may not be as simple as passing the information on to someone, like tutoring or mentoring through a skill. The constant pursuit of knowledge settles us. First because we’re not bored, idle, which leads to problems. More-so because we realize a deeper level of thoughts and see our place in the bigger picture.


Rather than over-valuing ourselves, we seek to settle in to one of the millions of ways we affect others by interacting. We may have an ability to be in conversations on many various topics of discussions with some knowledge on each.
We also may offer many other things by the experience of our settled pursuit of knowledge. Have you ever heard when someone recalls what you once said to them and you are struck by it? You feel the effect of your affect.
The result of gaining experience through knowledge brings the intangible value of connection.


Until the day we die we are growing in many ways.
Most of our body regenerates on a cellular level, we form new pathways in our brains by learning and experiencing.
We are setup to grow.


Growth promotes the learning of information.
Information brings knowledge.
Knowledge promotes action.
Action with knowledge brings experience.
Experience promotes a settled spirit – peace.
Peace brings value.
Value attracts Connection.
Connection brings you to new information where you begin again.
There is the circle.


Information, knowledge, action, experience, peace, value, connection.
The attraction of value draws those seeking any part of it’s process.