Your Life’s In The Tank

I tried this simple experiment
and I recommend it for you too

It began by wondering what I did that I completely forget about within the last week.
What am I taking for granted?
All the things in any given week go by so quickly.
I wondered if I’m so used to things that they go by unnoticed.
Is what I’m doing on purpose?
Is it what I should be doing?
Am I doing good for anybody – for my family, for me?
This hit me as I was gassing up.

When I was back in the truck I noticed that my display said I had 485 miles to use on this fill. I had the thought, now what was I gonna do about it? It felt like a poignant thought at the time, you know those ones that have an element of weight to them. They give you pause, make you go Hmmm.
Well, there’s no time better than now.
This is the moment!

I grabbed a little notebook I keep in the truck and I wrote the miles at the top of the page. My new goal was to write the date on a new line and what I was doing on that trip every time I got in the truck until the next fill up.

Easy enough.
Getting the kids to school, shopping for food, going over to an older couples house to help with their computer and email, bringing my daughter to pickup her friends to hangout, everyday stuff mixed with a few extras.

Looking back after the week I got to appreciate what I did and see that it did fit into my life the way I want it to. Sure there’s tweaks and things I could do more efficiently, yada yada but it was at least on purpose and doing some good. I’m going to do it again and get a complete month worth to see if it holds true.

It’s a traveling diary I suppose. Maybe more suited to a guys world, I dunno. I only wrote what I did, no comments or feelings about it. I got to process those on the re-read – and it was good. I’d recommend it, it’s a good read. It’s quantifying the results of this section of your life.

Sometimes a little rear view mirror perspective shows the path you’re on in another great way that also keeps you on course.

Whadya think?

Bugs Need Problems

Do you know a person who is often bugged about something and not shy in claiming it?

I’m not sure if constantly annoyed people know the extent of their problem.
It’s the gravity around their orbit.
Bugs–and that is people who are constantly bugged–go about living the same way they have been and wonder why bad things keep happening to them.
It’s wonder about the wrong thing. The focus is on the problem itself, not the solve, and this leads to feeling the weight of it. When we get past the problem we feel like we’re accomplishing something, affecting what our gravity pulls. When we don’t, we’re stuck in the mire.
Insecurity creates a feeling. That feeling becomes real. So a new problem gets created that overlays the actual problem.
The new problem then becomes that the annoyance takes top spot, not the process of figuring out the best solve. Feelings surround what you perceive as what will result, while the real result isn’t in yet.
Feelings are what comes out of you in several ways and are what others are affected by. That’s your gravity. That’s what is pulled towards you. Thinking creates feeling which becomes tangible. So thoughts are things. Thoughts create gravity.

Why problems are good

Change is growth.
Problems are your chance to see what may be glaringly obvious. They are ever-present. To make a life without problems is to not be involved in anything. Therefor, what you can do about what will always be there is change your reaction to it.
Think differently.
This may be a secret – everyone has problems. People who handle their obstacles have less of them, because how they do so doesn’t invite other ones. More than that, they are used to it and move on without making nearly as big a deal of it as a bug.
More Peace.

Your life will never be problem free

There is a correlation between being engaged in life and the problems you have. More involved = more hurdles. Those who work them out well have an easier time decoding the next ones and that leads to success over time. They don’t even become classified as troubles anymore.
The problem is a chance card in your game.
Use a problem in your day to wonder about it. Your version of what to do will come from your years of experience and knowing how you want your solutions and thus your gravity of what you pull towards you, to go.
Who in the entire world is better suited for that task than you?
Your odds are 1 in nearly 7 billion, and you are that one.
Solve your own sticking points. Get the info. Think about it. Do something.
Communication starts with talking to yourself.

Adult Taxonomy

How much of my time do you occupy?

It’s up to us to determine the proper balance in what we allow.
If we say yes to everything asked, they will continue to ask– and ask more.
If we say no to everything asked, we miss out on relationship.
Both are extremes and invite abdication.
Don’t move towards abuses of responsibility.
It’s our job to budget our time and place our priorities.
Often that means change.
Responsibility and Relationship are the categories.
Focus those.
That R&R focused is living well.

Saving a Friendship in Traffic

Why isn’t this on the drivers test?

A DMV rule would sure clear things up.


There’s that semi-uncomfortable moment when you see somebody you know in traffic and they pull up alongside of you. You wave and acknowledge each other. Then one of you files back in the flow of traffic.


There’s trouble ahead. You may be about to look stoopid.


If you pull even with them again, do you purposely avoid looking at them? Isn’t that rude? Cuz otherwise what…do you do something goofy? What do you do?

You’ll start thinking about why you did what you did and have to figure out how to feel about it.
Not good!

This just happened to me and my friend.
He’s a goof. We are sprocketheads around each other.
I thought I knew him.
Turns out he’s smarter than me.


He decided to lay off. He put on the brakes, and tucked in behind me to avoid it altogether. Not at all what I thought he’d do.


I texted him that I was onto him and that he was smart for avoiding the moment. Either or likely both of us could have regretted what we would have come up with at the moment.
It may have saved the friendship.


Well what do you do?


Social Scaling

Social Media Companies get big
because we  want to get big


Connection and sharing is why social media works.
As that was accepted and used it became big business.
Big business has it’s responsibilities.
So do we.


Social Media companies got us to voluntarily grow their base by allowing us to connect with people for free. Smart plan. This is a great thing, and we all knew it. Since about 2004, it was a new method to easily share information in all sorts of ways. It’s fun – we gained a bit of celebrity, having our post up there for all to see. We try to persuade the world to see it our way. We’re little movie stars.


Once that scaled, things began to change. Users egos obfuscated a site’s slow but steady increase in position. By promoting ourselves, we collectively promoted the company. By getting used to it, we couldn’t easily change away from it.


Reaching your friends is the main goal here, isn’t it still? And do we even think to call them? Nowhere near as much as we message them from the site or app.
When a big event in your life happens, it’s about our inner circle first and not all the multitudes of “friends.”


What a company does, we also do


Should we blame the companies without looking at our behavior as well?
We see company changes that slowly remove what we signed up for in our ability to connect as slight betrayals of the original concept. It leaves people feeling misled and manipulated.
Users manipulate too. Users try to get big by posting things that are either larger than life or are otherwise essentially spamming their “friends.” Facebook correctly made changes addressing like-baiting and link-spammers. They are marketing themselves, and often it’s far from the truth.


We’re all people involved in the human dynamic. “The company” is still a collection of individuals. What if we were to choose a company as we would a friend, knowing why we associate with them and keeping that straight.


A good concept grows when it helps people. I support loyalty to the principle of it’s founding. I support finding new ways of getting what you’re after without violating trust. Continued abuses should force us to rethink the support of our choice. Our habits are hard to break. This is counted upon and where the Titanic principle comes into play.


The onus is with us as users and not solely on the social media company.  The benefit of the internet is that we the people get to decide what works. It’s not a company simply putting an ad on TV. Now it’s about connection. And those who do it best, in this era, are and will continue to win.
This connection goes for our personal lives as well.


Shared purpose should have mutual benefits. When a business shifts the shared purpose away from the users, it opens the door for the next idea to come forward. Eventually people move to the next thing that delivers the ideal that a company forgot about.
It was thought that the Titanic was never going to sink. But it did. Errors of buying the sales pitch eventually brought it down.


Would connection to your real friends go away if your social media accounts did? Are you contacting or are you connecting?
Stay invested in connection.


Solve Your Own Problems

Solving your own problems is the best way to grow – the best way to know


We have arguably passed the information age by.
It moved from Industrial age to Information age and that quickly morphed into what’s termed the New Media era,  a temporary tag in my opinion, because whatever’s next will make the new old.
In any case, we have access to people who are good at what we need to know, anywhere they are and on our schedule. Amateurs to experts post the information for you. You can fix an appliance or do your own oil change, learn cooking, beer making, carpentry or architecture. You are limited solely by your interests and desire to know.


The steps of self-reliance are easier in this era


If the first action is to call somebody to handle the issue for things that can legitimately be done independently, realize that is it rarely more efficient. Further, its giving up the chance to grow.  The unintended consequence is wearing people out and getting no benefit.
In other words, being a user. People are willing to help only so far.
Delegating has it’s place to be certain, but only properly done and after being the example of one who gets things done. Delegate first to yourself instead.


Step number one in taking charge of your world and being a productive person is learning to count on yourself as far as you can. That’s the decision to DIY.


Step two is having the ability to figure out how to do what you don’t know how to do. Seek information. Google? You Tube, anyone?


Step three is knowing who best to hire for that which you don’t know and need a professional to do. Consider that you are paying them to learn something too. Such as using local handymen who make money with a side business because they are good at what they do. But professionals in the business are there for that very reason as well. Ask questions and seek some understanding, they’ll probably like sharing some of their professional knowledge with you.


Ancora Imparo


Don’t ever be done learning. Solving things feeds itself.
That eliminates the compulsion to overstate what we think we know in order to convince someone that we are something we aren’t.


Doing the work is the thing that is productive.
Talking about doing the work is pre-production.

What do you want to know how to do?

The Truth Is Not PC

The action is dumb – not the person


Let’s figure out how to call dumb things dumb and separate it from the person.  I do stupid things too, and by the way so do you. Let’s call it what it is so we can do that less by being aware of it.
I find that tact has a large role to play here.


If you’re going to call out something that people will be sensitive to, the part to figure out isn’t whether you should call it out or not, we can make that decision easily. Rather, it’s how to say it.  If done too harshly,  you’ll be pushing people away and the point will be lost.


Smart people do dumb things and dumb people do smart things


I’m not a fan of the political correctness action anymore.
It’s not honest.
“PC” used to just be called polite. It was needed. Unfairness was and is present but calling an action what it is remains the truth – on both sides. Inequality isn’t right and neither is manipulation.


I hope we’re evolving to this. I’m hoping the development in acceptance of the internet made a cultural difference. Online we can be more anonymous by sight. We can be held to what we offer. It shook up the way we connect. It seems that bigotry in the younger generations isn’t what it used to be with many views available online being the norm. A person’s world isn’t so sheltered. Isolation breeds unaccepting behavior. Even a little progress is still progress.


Some don’t like when a truth is called out and we hope they come back around. Speaking truth is not being mean. We can hold back a bit out of kindness. Having a definite take can serve to open discussion if truth is the goal instead of being right even if you’re not.


The truth is part of another’s point of view too. Not having all the viewpoints may mean you are still gathering the facts. Truth can be viewed from two different perspectives. Even with that, there are obvious points to agree upon.


The danger is when lies become the truth. When someone lies, the actions of themselves and the others involved move forward in the wrong direction from that lie. It gains momentum. It always gets found out, but the wake of damage ruins lives – potentially generationally.


 Obstinance in lies cuts the connection. In the end, we’re all trying to find connection.

Tell me the truth. If I’m being dumb, I’d rather deal with it now.

We have to make it our world to sort through what’s true and find the real parts where our views intersect.
Know who’s delivering real to us. Value that.

That’s progress.
We can work with progress.


Start With Try

 Don’t let what you know
prevent you from making a difference


We know what he have to do.
We could say reminders like this are obvious.
They are.
Then why is it so hard for us to do what we know we should?


While he’s right of course, the mental step to get that resolve scares us. Being afraid to fail subconsciously stops us.
“What if…?”


The mental step before do is try.
It’s a small step but an important one.
It’s the initial push that starts the wheel moving, the impetus, the first forward motion. That is the tough part.


Effort Is Everything

With relationships as well as career paths, trying is the difference. Effort brings action. Action you can work with.


The issue isn’t trying and not succeeding. It’s not trying.
Success of any kind accepts failed efforts.
Trying brings some new level of understanding.
Improvement follows.
Not trying delivers expected results.


If becoming a Jedi isn’t your goal, then maybe we can bring it down a notch.
Start with try. Trying is doing. Keep doing.