Category Archives: Subjective Thinking

Bugs Need Problems

Do you know a person who is often bugged about something and not shy in claiming it?

I’m not sure if constantly annoyed people know the extent of their problem.
It’s the gravity around their orbit.
 
Bugs–and that is people who are constantly bugged–go about living the same way they have been and wonder why bad things keep happening to them.
 
It’s wonder about the wrong thing. The focus is on the problem itself, not the solve, and this leads to feeling the weight of it. When we get past the problem we feel like we’re accomplishing something, affecting what our gravity pulls. When we don’t, we’re stuck in the mire.
 
Insecurity creates a feeling. That feeling becomes real. So a new problem gets created that overlays the actual problem.
 
The new problem then becomes that the annoyance takes top spot, not the process of figuring out the best solve. Feelings surround what you perceive as what will result, while the real result isn’t in yet.
 
Feelings are what comes out of you in several ways and are what others are affected by. That’s your gravity. That’s what is pulled towards you. Thinking creates feeling which becomes tangible. So thoughts are things. Thoughts create gravity.
 

Why problems are good

Change is growth.
Problems are your chance to see what may be glaringly obvious. They are ever-present. To make a life without problems is to not be involved in anything. Therefor, what you can do about what will always be there is change your reaction to it.
Think differently.
 
This may be a secret – everyone has problems. People who handle their obstacles have less of them, because how they do so doesn’t invite other ones. More than that, they are used to it and move on without making nearly as big a deal of it as a bug.
More Peace.
 

Your life will never be problem free

 
There is a correlation between being engaged in life and the problems you have. More involved = more hurdles. Those who work them out well have an easier time decoding the next ones and that leads to success over time. They don’t even become classified as troubles anymore.
 
The problem is a chance card in your game.
Use a problem in your day to wonder about it. Your version of what to do will come from your years of experience and knowing how you want your solutions and thus your gravity of what you pull towards you, to go.
Who in the entire world is better suited for that task than you?
Your odds are 1 in nearly 7 billion, and you are that one.
 
Solve your own sticking points. Get the info. Think about it. Do something.
Communication starts with talking to yourself.
 
 

Adult Taxonomy

How much of my time do you occupy?

 
It’s up to us to determine the proper balance in what we allow.
If we say yes to everything asked, they will continue to ask– and ask more.
If we say no to everything asked, we miss out on relationship.
Both are extremes and invite abdication.
Don’t move towards abuses of responsibility.
 
It’s our job to budget our time and place our priorities.
Often that means change.
 
Responsibility and Relationship are the categories.
Focus those.
That R&R focused is living well.

Social Scaling

Social Media Companies get big
because we  want to get big

 

Connection and sharing is why social media works.
As that was accepted and used it became big business.
Big business has it’s responsibilities.
So do we.

 

Social Media companies got us to voluntarily grow their base by allowing us to connect with people for free. Smart plan. This is a great thing, and we all knew it. Since about 2004, it was a new method to easily share information in all sorts of ways. It’s fun – we gained a bit of celebrity, having our post up there for all to see. We try to persuade the world to see it our way. We’re little movie stars.

 

Once that scaled, things began to change. Users egos obfuscated a site’s slow but steady increase in position. By promoting ourselves, we collectively promoted the company. By getting used to it, we couldn’t easily change away from it.

 

Reaching your friends is the main goal here, isn’t it still? And do we even think to call them? Nowhere near as much as we message them from the site or app.
When a big event in your life happens, it’s about our inner circle first and not all the multitudes of “friends.”

 

What a company does, we also do

 

Should we blame the companies without looking at our behavior as well?
We see company changes that slowly remove what we signed up for in our ability to connect as slight betrayals of the original concept. It leaves people feeling misled and manipulated.
Users manipulate too. Users try to get big by posting things that are either larger than life or are otherwise essentially spamming their “friends.” Facebook correctly made changes addressing like-baiting and link-spammers. They are marketing themselves, and often it’s far from the truth.

 

We’re all people involved in the human dynamic. “The company” is still a collection of individuals. What if we were to choose a company as we would a friend, knowing why we associate with them and keeping that straight.

 

A good concept grows when it helps people. I support loyalty to the principle of it’s founding. I support finding new ways of getting what you’re after without violating trust. Continued abuses should force us to rethink the support of our choice. Our habits are hard to break. This is counted upon and where the Titanic principle comes into play.

 

The onus is with us as users and not solely on the social media company.  The benefit of the internet is that we the people get to decide what works. It’s not a company simply putting an ad on TV. Now it’s about connection. And those who do it best, in this era, are and will continue to win.
This connection goes for our personal lives as well.

 

Shared purpose should have mutual benefits. When a business shifts the shared purpose away from the users, it opens the door for the next idea to come forward. Eventually people move to the next thing that delivers the ideal that a company forgot about.
It was thought that the Titanic was never going to sink. But it did. Errors of buying the sales pitch eventually brought it down.

 

Would connection to your real friends go away if your social media accounts did? Are you contacting or are you connecting?
Stay invested in connection.

 

Solve Your Own Problems

Solving your own problems is the best way to grow – the best way to know

 

We have arguably passed the information age by.
It moved from Industrial age to Information age and that quickly morphed into what’s termed the New Media era,  a temporary tag in my opinion, because whatever’s next will make the new old.
In any case, we have access to people who are good at what we need to know, anywhere they are and on our schedule. Amateurs to experts post the information for you. You can fix an appliance or do your own oil change, learn cooking, beer making, carpentry or architecture. You are limited solely by your interests and desire to know.

 

The steps of self-reliance are easier in this era

 

If the first action is to call somebody to handle the issue for things that can legitimately be done independently, realize that is it rarely more efficient. Further, its giving up the chance to grow.  The unintended consequence is wearing people out and getting no benefit.
In other words, being a user. People are willing to help only so far.
Delegating has it’s place to be certain, but only properly done and after being the example of one who gets things done. Delegate first to yourself instead.

 

Step number one in taking charge of your world and being a productive person is learning to count on yourself as far as you can. That’s the decision to DIY.

 

Step two is having the ability to figure out how to do what you don’t know how to do. Seek information. Google? You Tube, anyone?

 

Step three is knowing who best to hire for that which you don’t know and need a professional to do. Consider that you are paying them to learn something too. Such as using local handymen who make money with a side business because they are good at what they do. But professionals in the business are there for that very reason as well. Ask questions and seek some understanding, they’ll probably like sharing some of their professional knowledge with you.

 

Ancora Imparo

 

Don’t ever be done learning. Solving things feeds itself.
That eliminates the compulsion to overstate what we think we know in order to convince someone that we are something we aren’t.

 

Doing the work is the thing that is productive.
Talking about doing the work is pre-production.

What do you want to know how to do?
GO!

The Truth Is Not PC

The action is dumb – not the person

 

Let’s figure out how to call dumb things dumb and separate it from the person.  I do stupid things too, and by the way so do you. Let’s call it what it is so we can do that less by being aware of it.
I find that tact has a large role to play here.

 

If you’re going to call out something that people will be sensitive to, the part to figure out isn’t whether you should call it out or not, we can make that decision easily. Rather, it’s how to say it.  If done too harshly,  you’ll be pushing people away and the point will be lost.

 

Smart people do dumb things and dumb people do smart things

 

I’m not a fan of the political correctness action anymore.
It’s not honest.
“PC” used to just be called polite. It was needed. Unfairness was and is present but calling an action what it is remains the truth – on both sides. Inequality isn’t right and neither is manipulation.

 

I hope we’re evolving to this. I’m hoping the development in acceptance of the internet made a cultural difference. Online we can be more anonymous by sight. We can be held to what we offer. It shook up the way we connect. It seems that bigotry in the younger generations isn’t what it used to be with many views available online being the norm. A person’s world isn’t so sheltered. Isolation breeds unaccepting behavior. Even a little progress is still progress.

 

Some don’t like when a truth is called out and we hope they come back around. Speaking truth is not being mean. We can hold back a bit out of kindness. Having a definite take can serve to open discussion if truth is the goal instead of being right even if you’re not.

 

The truth is part of another’s point of view too. Not having all the viewpoints may mean you are still gathering the facts. Truth can be viewed from two different perspectives. Even with that, there are obvious points to agree upon.

 

The danger is when lies become the truth. When someone lies, the actions of themselves and the others involved move forward in the wrong direction from that lie. It gains momentum. It always gets found out, but the wake of damage ruins lives – potentially generationally.

 

 Obstinance in lies cuts the connection. In the end, we’re all trying to find connection.

Tell me the truth. If I’m being dumb, I’d rather deal with it now.

We have to make it our world to sort through what’s true and find the real parts where our views intersect.
Know who’s delivering real to us. Value that.

That’s progress.
We can work with progress.

 

Start With Try

 Don’t let what you know
prevent you from making a difference

 

We know what he have to do.
We could say reminders like this are obvious.
They are.
Then why is it so hard for us to do what we know we should?

 

While he’s right of course, the mental step to get that resolve scares us. Being afraid to fail subconsciously stops us.
“What if…?”

 

The mental step before do is try.
It’s a small step but an important one.
It’s the initial push that starts the wheel moving, the impetus, the first forward motion. That is the tough part.

 

Effort Is Everything

With relationships as well as career paths, trying is the difference. Effort brings action. Action you can work with.

 

The issue isn’t trying and not succeeding. It’s not trying.
Success of any kind accepts failed efforts.
Trying brings some new level of understanding.
Improvement follows.
Not trying delivers expected results.

 

If becoming a Jedi isn’t your goal, then maybe we can bring it down a notch.
Start with try. Trying is doing. Keep doing.

 

Changing Greys

Define Black, White and Grey

Did you ever have a strong opinion on something, state it for others to know about you and then come upon a piece of information in a video or an impassioned plea that changed your take?
I both love and don’t love when that happens.

First my reaction is – aw crap. Now what I said is making me the fool.
My second reaction is – well, it’s the same as I’ve always thought. My opinion can be a little of both in many cases.

It’s hard to have strong opinions because they generally mean you do not waiver. It’s a black and white opinion. Problem is, there are very few things that are that clear cut. Change mostly happens in the grey area. Most of the world and the opinions in it are forms of grey. Or is that gray – see?

This leads to inner peace that comes from an ability to both be flexible and still stand strong on opinions. It’s wise to set a few areas of higher importance. These are guiding our decisions. They are our principles. If you find those, they are hard to execute sometimes but you know that’s who you are.

You will not cheat on your spouse, or you will not harm people.
You will not… fill it in. Also, know your no matter what’s – the things you will do. These are based upon higher principles. They make the decisions that comes out of those principles easy to make.
The rest of the thousands of calls you have to make can be some of both sides.

I see it like this:
The highest/best and lowest/worst ends of the opinion and decision spectrum are black and white. They’re all the way out on the edge.
Their gravity keeps all the greys, or grays, contained in the middle.
Not having to be concerned about being right all the time brings peace through contentment.

 

The Generosity of Observance

Observance of Trendlines

When you observe what’s happening, there are clues to notice.
Those clues can lead to some perception bringing insight.
If you draw the line in the direction you see happening,
the perception most often leads to a logical conclusion not far off of that line.
It’s good to have an open mind and not to be judgmental before you know facts. It’s also good to make yourself aware of what you see playing out.
 

Prepare yourself with insight
you may not want to acknowledge

Let’s look at your career or another aspect of your life.
Would you draw a graph line over time in the up or down direction about it? How steep is that line? Is it more straight as a trend line or jagged, moving up and then down? Is it flatlining?
 
The point is to observe a trend as it has played out over time.
Remembering what you thought was going to happen and then getting a result brings you the experience of noticing your thoughts as they actually played out. You begin to qualify what grabs your attention and learn to trust your instincts.
 
People are not as good at hiding their thoughts as they think. They can’t hide feelings, especially if they haven’t done any introspection and are thus unaware of them.
There are always tells to notice.

Being observant is a generous act

Being observant is generous because it involves a connection to others for people to benefit from. That generosity is available to those who pick up on and acknowledge the information itself. Generous just as the person holding the flashlight in a dark room is, exposing perceptions of a world around them to light.
 
Observance attempts communication with people who don’t realize they are communicating with you.
It tells you what words cannot. It reveals a perception which is probably truth.
 
We are always communicating – sending signal.
We are not always listening. Listening is generous.
Listening and observing are receiving signal. That’s the part of communication most are missing. Modern culture is so taken with sending.
 
It can certainly help you on your path, giving you more information with which to decide. If handled with kindness, it is a chance at a deeper level of connection.
Verbal communication that can come from observation is a deeper level of life sharing.
 
Open your eyes, ears, mind and heart.
There’s signal out there waiting to be processed.
Your kindness will be noticed.
 
 

Statements Become You

Everybody’s got something

Once you find out that something,
you can let them have it and get on with it.
Great statement, I think.

 

We have many statements inside our heads.
But what good are they?
How do they translate into your real life?

 

The statements we make become our philosophies.
We make decisions many times a day according to our philosophies and we don’t even realize it.
This is a process of our habits.

 

Outside input brings new things to consider. Already held beliefs, or subjective thinking, leads to the testing of what was said; the proofing stage of comments.
Once accepted, outside comments can move to buy-in status leading to statements or declarations.

 

Statements repeated over time give us our worldview.
This philosophy is reinforced by choices made from this viewpoint.
Along the way we change our minds often depending on our associations and influences.
And in that journey, it helps to have friends and family who let us have our glitch without getting too bothered about it.
It let’s us figure it out for ourselves.

 

Our more productive philosophies are worth remembering because they help us understand how we get to our autonomic actions. Deeply held principles are what parents hand down to their kids and pay forward into generations of the way this family does things. Of course, be wary of the negative, counter productive beliefs which can also become an ideology and take root just the same.

 

For the inner circle around you, cut them some slack. Hopefully they’re in the process of figuring out some of this reasoning.
Everybody’s got something, let them have it and move on.
Isn’t that what you want them to do for you?

 

Think about what you think about.
Your thoughts become your words,
and your statements become you.

 

Mind Your Own Business

Be Your Own Boss

I can still hear my Dad saying it.
It’s a mentality that I like.
It’s one that says “I’m done trying to impress you.”
Rather than impress, why not relate?

 

To be my best, I want contentment with my own work.
If I’m proud of my work, I can find others with whom it will resonate.
If that’s not you, that’s ok.

 

A great way to be your own boss and find contentment, even if you are doing work for another company, is to be yourself. No airs, no fake fronts. Just be you. The reason is that connection to others is easier when you do. It’s also real.

 

It’s connection in some way that leads to commerce.
Dig in and work for/on yourself.
Nobody else has your dream but many share pieces of it.
Find them and you find your community.
It’s easier now than ever to find people of like needs and shared interest. Current technology aside, it’s always been that way whether you care to admit it or not.

 

You always come home to you.
You are doing the work of your craft for your own – your family’s – benefit. You are working for yourself.
It really shouldn’t be showing up for a job, rather, a paycheck, that you didn’t think about doing before you spent years going to work at it. Think about what you want to do and head in that direction.

 

Where you work isn’t the point.
You are still in business for yourself.
And your business is yourself.

 

Choose well, or keep choosing.