Tag Archives: bond

Success in increments

Everything big that we are wowed by,
is bound by its small connectors

It was started today, in the tiniest of ways, by a decision to be okay with all there was yet to know, being involved enough to grow.
If you start, you will have something.
If you do it again, You will find out just a little bit more to make it better. If you do it a third time, and a fourth, and fifth, each time you find tiny little ideas or fixes that make your work better. Pretty soon you’re in a completely different place than you were at the beginning – when you were fearful about all that you didn’t know or all that you thought you could not do.
Start with a smile
to get to gaining attention,
to get to hello,
to get to a conversation,
to get to a friendship.
We do all things in this way.
This incremental method.
Sure, begin with the end in mind.
The process is what we live.
We seem to think there are those having some unobtainable answer. They don’t. They have earned their method. We all get to what we know by doing it over and over, getting better each time. In work, in love and in life. Tiny, seemingly inconsequential bits at a time.
The right bond holds together everything of immense value.
Engage in and take some contentment, even joy from the smallest of increments. The small parts are always building something bigger.
Where are you laying that single brick today?
What are you building up?


Turns out I can write better cards than Hallmark.
Their writers aren’t living my life.

When I have a good thought about someone in my circle of friends,
a practice I use is to let them know it.

It’s ironic that we have more communication tools and means than ever before
but our practice of communication is weaker than in the past.
It’s a human tool not simply machinery.

Think of it, how often do you get a text or email or phone message
where someone is telling you what a benefit you are to them in any way?

That thought that you had about that person came to you for some reason.
Act on it and see what happens.

Relationship is about being vulnerable/honest enough to tell the truth, good or bad.
If it’s easy to tell someone what they did wrong, that’s not nearly as constructive
as you think.

Being convinced against your will isn’t being convinced.

Telling them what you like about them or value, that would be affirming
and strengthen your ability to be listened to later if they did something
needing corrective input.

It’s easier than ever now.
I’ll shoot a text message when that happens to me.
When I get some of that back, I might reply that I’m glad to have thought of them today,
even just this quickly.
It’s funny how good conversations you have with trusted friends
seem to contain the very thing you need to hear.

I had a discussion with a good friend that shaped my thoughts due to their wisdom.

After having dinner with friends, I’ll text them later what I liked about our time,
a good line of the night or just that I appreciated it.
Very simple and not sappy. Real.

It’s what I love about New York – the ability to be real.
No problem telling you anything, good or bad.
The mindset seems to be – There’s things to do. I gotta get to ’em.
The result is that you know where you stand and you have the chance
to feel appreciated by those in your circle.

You have an affect others, make it a bond strengthening one.