Tag Archives: Generosity

The Generosity of Observance

Observance of Trendlines

When you observe what’s happening, there are clues to notice.
Those clues can lead to some perception bringing insight.
If you draw the line in the direction you see happening,
the perception most often leads to a logical conclusion not far off of that line.
It’s good to have an open mind and not to be judgmental before you know facts. It’s also good to make yourself aware of what you see playing out.

Prepare yourself with insight
you may not want to acknowledge

Let’s look at your career or another aspect of your life.
Would you draw a graph line over time in the up or down direction about it? How steep is that line? Is it more straight as a trend line or jagged, moving up and then down? Is it flatlining?
The point is to observe a trend as it has played out over time.
Remembering what you thought was going to happen and then getting a result brings you the experience of noticing your thoughts as they actually played out. You begin to qualify what grabs your attention and learn to trust your instincts.
People are not as good at hiding their thoughts as they think. They can’t hide feelings, especially if they haven’t done any introspection and are thus unaware of them.
There are always tells to notice.

Being observant is a generous act

Being observant is generous because it involves a connection to others for people to benefit from. That generosity is available to those who pick up on and acknowledge the information itself. Generous just as the person holding the flashlight in a dark room is, exposing perceptions of a world around them to light.
Observance attempts communication with people who don’t realize they are communicating with you.
It tells you what words cannot. It reveals a perception which is probably truth.
We are always communicating – sending signal.
We are not always listening. Listening is generous.
Listening and observing are receiving signal. That’s the part of communication most are missing. Modern culture is so taken with sending.
It can certainly help you on your path, giving you more information with which to decide. If handled with kindness, it is a chance at a deeper level of connection.
Verbal communication that can come from observation is a deeper level of life sharing.
Open your eyes, ears, mind and heart.
There’s signal out there waiting to be processed.
Your kindness will be noticed.

Unifying The Art / Sport Divide


The Process Or The Result?

Sports and art have two different pursuits.
In sports, the competitive nature promotes seeking to be the best. Winning is everything. You’re training is about pushing you to the limits and you are never done. There is only keeping up – with yourself or others. The focus is so much about coming out on top that to win is actually more of a relief then just pure joy, therefor your focus is actually not to lose. You can’t enjoy the process with an unknown outcome.

Andre Agassi said that “the pain of losing an event like Wimbledon far outweighs winning, and lasts longer.” If you win, that’s just what you were supposed to do, if you lose there’s that pain plus the psychological effects you didn’t train for.

With art, there is joy in the creation. There is fulfillment in the process.
The end game is not as important as the journey of creation.
It’s why artists are so often not finishers. They love the process so much that just one more tweak is always possible.

Because they live in the process, artists can afford a built-in spirit of generosity.
Because of their discipline, athletes get results from strong finishes.
Both affect change.

You can’t say that either are more happy as a group than the other.
There is art in sports, that is how the athlete creates. Their pressure is the value judgement of “yeah, but did you win?”

There is regimen in artistry. It’s how the artist has a body of work. Their pressure comes from what it takes to create a vision combined with criticism of their personal works of art – both reasons so many creators seek escapes from reality.

If (imo) the best athletic artist Michael Jordan didn’t finish, if the ball didn’t end up in the hoop, all the moves to get it there would be dismissed as his art getting in the way of the results.
Art must finish but affords more latitude in it’s interpretation.

Finding the artistic expression is a way to enjoy your life.
Finishing is what brings results.
In life, winning isn’t only about being first, it’s more about the process of finishing.
Can you do enjoy the process and finish?

Who Are You Helping?

Generosity Promotes Reciprocity


Someone asks for your help

Do you:
1. Take the time to ask a number of questions to find out what it is that would help them best, whether it’s something you can do or something another person could do to better serve their needs?


2. Dive right in and start doing what you know how to do, even if it doesn’t totally solve their problem, figuring it needs to be done anyway, and that is helping them even if they don’t know it.


One says “let’s figure this out.” (helps solve their problem).
The other says “look at what I know” (doesn’t help, in fact, may create more to solve).
Another way of saying that is – one is for them, the other is for the helper.
Yet another way – One is help, one isn’t.

You give help to someone

Do they:
1. Engage enough to be present. You might need them to do something. The chance exists to learn from you.


2. Leave, but not before issuing instruction on how it is to be done and when. They’re busy and they have more important things to do to keep the train rolling.


One says I appreciate the generosity and am in this with you, thank you.
The other says, I am too busy to learn or engage and just need you to do this.
This is a pattern, it will repeat if you’re around for the asking.
In other words, I need but don’t truly appreciate your kindness or time and will prove it by asking until you’re burned out on the repeated requests.
Again, one is help, one isn’t.


Help is not hiring
When you hire someone to perform a service or do something requiring expertise that you don’t possess, there is a contract, agreement, and an understanding of the work to be done. The expectation is that you are not helping. You are more likely getting in the way if you’re too involved. They would no doubt prefer for you to let them do the job you are paying them to do.


Help, on the other hand, is given freely, has it’s boundaries and is easy to burn up when not reciprocated in any other way.
Help given should be done with the right spirit and boundaries.
Help received should be appreciated and where possible, reciprocated.


Being full of thanks is what makes for great relationships.
It’s what leads to helping.
Being helped makes you want to help back.
That’s the best circle to engage in repeating.