Tag Archives: healthy

Friends For Life

Everybody has a central issue that
negatively affects their life

Most don’t even know it.
Do you?

Is it credit seeking?
Is it self-esteem, value?
Is it fairness or justice?

These are things that likely are deep-seated from childhood in most cases. There are also inherent genetic or chemical issues that have been developed by your make up. Maybe you’ve been around a poor influence for a long period of time and you got lost in that way of thinking.

Finding this out gives you the ability to address it and understand where problems can come from and then how to deal with them effectively.

It’s the hardest part of the entire equation because you are forced to realize that you are in fact, not good at something that is holding you back. That is never fun to admit. We all have that thing to admit though. That’s a part of being human.

What you do after acknowledging that you need work should come from a more healthy place. There is a level of submission to something you don’t fully understand. It softens the hard exterior that other people couldn’t relate to you through. What people see as vulnerable and in need of protection is actually the very thing that allows another to relate honestly with a person. This is what relationships are really all about.

There are people you know right now that you could be much better friends with. Something is missing and you’re not sure what it is.

What does being a friend look like?

Among other things it means not trying so hard to convince other people that you have all the answers. Your opinion may, in fact, be correct but if it costs relationship by brow-beating someone with whom you are in a conversation, you’ve won nothing. They are not more impressed by you. Allow people their thoughts too. You may come away with a new perspective.
That’s also called growth.

Some won’t put in the effort and their results will show it.
There are, however, many waiting for those of us willing to be a friend – to any degree. That means liking someone enough to listen.
Even at the gas station or quickly at the grocery store. From that comes the parts of your life that are about to get better. Having good friends will affect you in a much bigger than expected way – even one or two more.

It is statistically shown to lengthen life and reduce things like high blood pressure and stress. These aren’t things you think about but the results are in – making this effort as clinical and real as anything your doctor could prescribe.
This is for the benefit of your life.
The true, deep, honest and meaningful benefit of your life.

If asked, everyone would say that they want a good life, and as long as possible. That end goal is why the effort is needed now.

It’s worth it to know.
It’s worth it to fight through.
We all have it but not everyone has overcome it.

Are you able to question the kind of friend you are?
The quality of your life dares you to try.

How To Be Normal And Healthy

You Need An
Out Of Body Experience
To See Yourself


We want to move towards what’s normal and healthy.
Sometimes they seem like contradictions.


First establish what your normal is and what healthy is so you know what that looks like.
These can be online personality tests such as Myers/Briggs.
This can be done by introspection or understanding of your experiences.
How you see the world while at rest is unique to you.
You’re never done finding this out but to know yourself without pretenses is the goal.


How do you get to normal?
By believing in yourself.
By not acting on what others think.
Normal is not the average of what everybody does,
it’s what is your center, your default, You.


Belief is having confidence in something intangible, untouchable.
To believe, we have to get outside of ourselves – disconnect you from you for a moment.
We’re too logical and demand proof.
Spirituality and belief confuse us in that way.


How do you get to believe in yourself?
If belief is confidence in the intangible, you’re too close to yourself.
Get outside of yourself.


How do you get outside of yourself?
It always involves getting out of the way.
That’s a God / Spiritual thing.

Spirituality, Prayer, Meditation, Sweats all help us with out of body and mind type of practices that remove our self–doubt and unbalanced emotion and see things for what they really are, with more objectivity. It boosts our ability to get out of our head by bolstering our confidence in something bigger than us.

Belief in bigger, better things leads you to a more healthy way of thinking.
Define normal to you, seek healthy by moving outward.
Just as your body surrounds and pushes out toxins, so can you fill up with better and push out the unhealthy.


After that you just keep trying, forevermore.
Trying is normal and healthy.
So is not fooling yourself.


Thanks For Getting Me Sick

No, Really!

If you are ever sick, anyone at work or in your friend circle that gets sick after you
automatically assigns you as the responsible party. Now maybe that’s true and maybe it isn’t. But for them to automatically assign blame is a little like you expecting a share of the winning lottery ticket because you were there when it was bought. Proximity is not enough.


While I’m on it, winning a lottery doesn’t make you instantly healthy either.
Actually, it’s more like getting a virus than you’d ever want to believe. Something so excessively positive by perception draws out an envy that shows some sick behavior. People get goofy when they’re around something they see as over the top good.
They haven’t acquired any of the characteristics in it’s pursuit that would allow them
to handle the rewards. You see a person’s character in their behavior when they’re down and out.


The Healing Benefits of Being Sick

While I don’t get sick often at all, and certainly don’t like it, I appreciate the re-zeroing process. I am humbled. I am forced to realize that something totally out of my ability to stop with any level of certainty, and something so infinitely small, can take me completely out of commission.


I always come out of a sickness with a renewed sense of drive, feeling like I need to make up for lost time. I get after it. I clean up the messes I was operating in and get re-organized. It’s a clean slate restart.  Like a flu-years resolution.


After I look back, having gone through the misery of a sickness I can be thankful.
I’m stronger now.



My Grandparents era was a cool one for language.
They’d use the term Fella – don’t you just love that?
There are a whole bunch of good old terms that I’d like to hear more. When I use some of them publicly, I’m a total goof to people. I’ll use the term bloke in emails or texts. I’m sure that gets an odd response. Dude has gone mainstream. That used to be just a west coast thing. Or a cowboy thing I suppose. Fella is just so good. Jim Gaffigan does a great job of using it. I hear it in basketball broadcasts. “Take it strong to the hoop Big Fella!”
I’d love to see us take some of these terms back and maybe a little of the common sense of the era with it.
It seemed like a softer time but a look at the World Wars would indicate that we weren’t more soft then. But more civil? Sure. In a general sense. People were tougher than ever in that era. Not nearly as many had the creature comforts of today, at least as we know them now. We are more sophisticated in our technologies and methods today but less so in our relationships to people. We definitely lost something from that era – more than just the words. I use words intentionally every day, often to stir up the norm. From this shaken up interaction with people I am able to incorporate some new and unexpected trains of thought into my day.  This can change things for the long term.
Being able to express yourself properly helps you to become understood which brings more contentment. More contentment brings more civility. Contentment doesn’t replace drive. I’m not meaning complacency, but rather what goes on inside your head/heart – your peace. Contentment can replace anger as often as it appears in today’s world. I think most of anger stems from some piece of ignorance, read that as not understanding.
I wonder if we could be more productive if we were to get rid of some of the things we waste time on that aren’t moving us in the direction we want to go. Giving your time to being upset lends itself to becoming more upset. You wallow and engage in more of that victim mentality. All the while not doing anything to further your pursuits. Bad feelings feed on more of the same. Conversely good things do too. Break the funk and move on. When you are charged up by something going right and you’re feeling good, you seek more of that too.
This era has more to draw you into the negative with examples of poor behavior. Whether publicly or in the media. There is also more media available to find what you’re after than in other generations. They used to talk about pulling yourself up from your bootstraps. Putting your nose to the grindstone. What do we even have for sayings like that today? “Get over it” is even old now. I guess today it’s progressed to “whatever.”
As my mindset goes, I’d say be aware if you’re in a funk, and get out of it as fast as you can. Be real about what it is that’s got you. Be conscious about doing things that are productive and moving you in the right direction. It’s not as easy as being entertained but definitely better for you to feed on. Try pulling out an old time term and using it. Find one. C’mon, put a nickel in it. Shake it up around you even just a little. Bring back one term as a reminder to move forward by learning from the past. Just do something different. You gotta start somewhere. Find something by looking backwards for a minute. Then get back to moving down the right path as you go forward. Any lad or lass can do it.