Tag Archives: kindness

The Generosity of Observance

Observance of Trendlines

When you observe what’s happening, there are clues to notice.
Those clues can lead to some perception bringing insight.
If you draw the line in the direction you see happening,
the perception most often leads to a logical conclusion not far off of that line.
It’s good to have an open mind and not to be judgmental before you know facts. It’s also good to make yourself aware of what you see playing out.

Prepare yourself with insight
you may not want to acknowledge

Let’s look at your career or another aspect of your life.
Would you draw a graph line over time in the up or down direction about it? How steep is that line? Is it more straight as a trend line or jagged, moving up and then down? Is it flatlining?
The point is to observe a trend as it has played out over time.
Remembering what you thought was going to happen and then getting a result brings you the experience of noticing your thoughts as they actually played out. You begin to qualify what grabs your attention and learn to trust your instincts.
People are not as good at hiding their thoughts as they think. They can’t hide feelings, especially if they haven’t done any introspection and are thus unaware of them.
There are always tells to notice.

Being observant is a generous act

Being observant is generous because it involves a connection to others for people to benefit from. That generosity is available to those who pick up on and acknowledge the information itself. Generous just as the person holding the flashlight in a dark room is, exposing perceptions of a world around them to light.
Observance attempts communication with people who don’t realize they are communicating with you.
It tells you what words cannot. It reveals a perception which is probably truth.
We are always communicating – sending signal.
We are not always listening. Listening is generous.
Listening and observing are receiving signal. That’s the part of communication most are missing. Modern culture is so taken with sending.
It can certainly help you on your path, giving you more information with which to decide. If handled with kindness, it is a chance at a deeper level of connection.
Verbal communication that can come from observation is a deeper level of life sharing.
Open your eyes, ears, mind and heart.
There’s signal out there waiting to be processed.
Your kindness will be noticed.

Yes Man Or No It All?

Are you a ‘no’
first thought person
or a ‘yes’
first thought person?


What is your initial reply
when asked to do something?


The yes firsters are more rare because it immediately requires something from you.

With no, it’s over unless you reconsider.
You aren’t expected to reconsider.
If a no’er changes the no to suddenly say yes, they are lauded for an unexpected
act of kindness.
With a yesser, others have learned to presume things from them and it’s a tougher
expectation to undo.

Kindness is taken for granted. It’s easy to take advantage of.

Living out the way the world is seen

No’ers may be more practical and unwilling to overburden themselves.
The overabundance of yessing would make them ineffective by dilution.
They have focused plans designed to benefit and they are enacting them on their own.
They are busy affecting their world and there are those who are not a part of it.
One person can only do so much, they may be choosing what can best be done by them.


Those who give freely are happy– generally so, that’s their default.
But a yesser can burn out. They can even become embittered.
That is their challenge. They must confront why they say yes in the first place.
If they say yes out of inadequacy, they are making it about themselves.
The reason it’s a tendency is most likely that it feeds them in a way they value.
What they get in return affirms, circles back to them and repeats.


If all else is equal, no is internal (you) and yes is external (others).


Having an understanding of this helps us keep it from going awry.
It’s easy to get in the way of truth, distort it and change it’s perception.


When can’t is really won’t

When you try to help but it doesn’t,
it doesn’t negate your effort.
How it’s received is only half your part.

If there’s something you can do differently,
do it.
Otherwise the other half is out of your
control and you have to move forward.

Helping doesn’t mean
being taken advantage of.
Acting with kindness is also
leading by example.
Like a good parent.
You can do this with others too.
Your line of what you accept
is not up to them.

I’ve heard it said in professional circles
that the opposite of love isn’t hate,
it’s apathy.
When your help isn’t understood,
check yourself.
Try to avoid apathy,
but at one point it’s ok to move on.


Move on from those who won’t be able
to be helped by what you can offer them.
Maybe that will change.
If it does, apathy won’t let you
get to a place of being able to assist.


Each person has to do something
with the help for themselves.
The best help you can be is that of example.