Tag Archives: let it be

There’s A Bison In The Room

Yeah, elephants are bigger
but a Bison confuses me more

Looking at an Elephant, you’re sure they’re thinking about what’s going on around them. A Bison? More like a cow when you look at it. Not sure what’s really going on in there. Is it fine or will it charge you? It does have horns and is of formidable size.

The Bison replaces the elephant as the misunderstood problem obvious to all who choose to look. Big and full of unknowns. The underlying problem is that nobody is saying anything about it. Calling it is where the solution begins.

Acknowledge the Bison in your room


What’s going on inside your head shouldn’t be as big a mystery as it might appear.
Name it so you can deal with it later.

If it brings you to a point where you can’t handle it then just absorb it. Let it be acknowledged and felt enough to encourage the change that will come later from dealing with it.
But do deal with it.

Dealing with it looks like this:
1. Know what IT is. Say it out loud to yourself.
2. Let it be and then come back to it, so it has some perspective without the irrationality of the emotion you bring in the moment.
3. Set it down at the feet of your beliefs – meaning put it out of your responsibility to handle for the time being. It’s bigger than you and so will the solve be.
Don’t worry about it’s solution just yet.
4. Get back to thinking through it when the answers start to emerge.

It’s likely that you could tell your friends what to do if this was their situation laid out in front of you. You have a knowledge inside of you of what’s best. You know a good path full of productive change when you’re in it. You do! Calling out the issue and letting it be removes the weight and pressure of making a decision under duress. Duress leads to bad decisions.

Name it, let it be, come back to it and repeat until it comes to you – it will. We’re such an immediate culture. Things take the time they take, so let them.

With a clear mind, taking the mud of emotion out, you see it with new resolve, with new solve.
There’s a strength in realizing that your best can come out when you aren’t getting in your own way. Give it up to get it back.

The best way through is to renew.

Why giving up is a position of strength

When you see less of me you like me more

What?
Less Is More?
That goes against the hype machine of advertising
and especially the newly found voices on the web.

Self-promotion is at an all time high.
In our personal lives however, self-promotion doesn’t really work.
It’s hollow. We so often treat those we are “used to” with the least amount of our manners.

Our ability to properly give up to a situation in the moment shows respect for the bigger picture of getting along.
Getting along with people is how you are heard.

State your position and let it be

When we’re not at our best are we practicing being real?
Not our best is not really us.
Practicing involves some fails.
Let’s hope we are afforded some leeway in the middle of that.
One thing is for sure – it involves effort to do this on purpose.

Giving up is a position of strength in this area.
It leads by the example of self-control.
Overstating or badgering lessens your ability to be heard,
and ultimately respected.

Being mindful of effective communication is forgotten in the moment its needed.
Effective communication is putting across the real information, as opposed to competing in a conversation.

The first step leads to many

Trying is a huge first step.
Being aware of our intentions leads to effort.
We get around to someone else’s idea in our own time, in our own way.

Beyond discussing to decide, or stating a perspective, arguing to the end doesn’t solidify the point. It wears the others down and costs relationship. It’s more work, actually inefficient to continue to promote your stance to the very end.

Speaking your mind and letting it be gives others a chance to consider it in their own mind based upon its merit.

The controlling argument and confrontation is what people rebel against. The personal distaste will not allow even the thought to consider what was being said. The chance was lost for them to talk to themselves by putting ourself in the way, it closes the logic window. It is standing in between the point and the person, acting as a roadblock.

Winning an argument is missing the point.
Arguments don’t convince.
Try saying less to be heard.

Someone has to give first.