Tag Archives: listen

The Generosity of Observance

Observance of Trendlines

When you observe what’s happening, there are clues to notice.
Those clues can lead to some perception bringing insight.
If you draw the line in the direction you see happening,
the perception most often leads to a logical conclusion not far off of that line.
It’s good to have an open mind and not to be judgmental before you know facts. It’s also good to make yourself aware of what you see playing out.

Prepare yourself with insight
you may not want to acknowledge

Let’s look at your career or another aspect of your life.
Would you draw a graph line over time in the up or down direction about it? How steep is that line? Is it more straight as a trend line or jagged, moving up and then down? Is it flatlining?
The point is to observe a trend as it has played out over time.
Remembering what you thought was going to happen and then getting a result brings you the experience of noticing your thoughts as they actually played out. You begin to qualify what grabs your attention and learn to trust your instincts.
People are not as good at hiding their thoughts as they think. They can’t hide feelings, especially if they haven’t done any introspection and are thus unaware of them.
There are always tells to notice.

Being observant is a generous act

Being observant is generous because it involves a connection to others for people to benefit from. That generosity is available to those who pick up on and acknowledge the information itself. Generous just as the person holding the flashlight in a dark room is, exposing perceptions of a world around them to light.
Observance attempts communication with people who don’t realize they are communicating with you.
It tells you what words cannot. It reveals a perception which is probably truth.
We are always communicating – sending signal.
We are not always listening. Listening is generous.
Listening and observing are receiving signal. That’s the part of communication most are missing. Modern culture is so taken with sending.
It can certainly help you on your path, giving you more information with which to decide. If handled with kindness, it is a chance at a deeper level of connection.
Verbal communication that can come from observation is a deeper level of life sharing.
Open your eyes, ears, mind and heart.
There’s signal out there waiting to be processed.
Your kindness will be noticed.


I notice the things people say


It started when I was young.
I learned words.
But then I learned to listen.

For many years now, and I mean many, whenever I hear two was-es back to back I have to repeat it.
Let me explain.

Someone says something like “no, see what it was, was a chicken dressed like a…” – whatever.
So I hear that and quietly go – “was was” to myself. It sounds more like wuz wuz – a noise instead of a word.


It started out as funny, noticing when it happened. Now it happens in batches and I haven’t broken my string.
Sometimes it happens in situations where it’s inappro-pro to repeat it. I’d be dismissed as the goofball who says things like was-was or inappro-pro. So I do it quietly, make a game out of it. I have to think about how can I say it without having someone call it out in those cases requiring decorum.


Whenever I do break it, it will have been fun but it will have been pointless over a number of years.


I may have just uncovered my epitaph.
Here lies Dr. Bunk – it was was a long and pointless run.
Sorry, kinda.


Perception From the Package

Growing is Re-inventing

I see my daughter growing up. She gets her style on each day. Her fashion is how
she wants to be seen.  So the clothes, hair and makeup attracts. The lead photo
grabs the initial attention, almost unknowingly, on a more visceral level.
Your first impression is your headline – Look at me.


After your opening impression the viewer will move on to what’s next – your first line.
You talk and gain more insight, more information about them.
Your second impression is interaction – listen to me.


This interaction is where you have to use your inner self to shape who you are,
and reveal what people get on a deeper level. Shape what they cannot yet see.
You share what you believe and integrity is being unknowingly looked for.
A sought trusted connection.
Your third impression is your character – understand me.


To compliment your genetic makeup that you only have so much control over, you have your personality that can deepen your attractiveness. There’s a lifetime’s worth to work on there, and we never feel like we get it right. But there is good news. At the end of your day, the makeup comes off. All that you don’t want goes down the drain so you’re fresh and ready for another go.


You attract, interact and form impressions back and forth with people all day. Over the course of time, you will gravitate towards certain interactions which determine better, more reliable acquaintances or friends. It’s their influence you begin to adopt.


We all see ourselves as fragmented, like the broken glass of a mirror is hard to see a complete picture through. But by reducing our egos a bit we can properly resize ourselves so the broken pieces get bigger and we see a more complete picture again.


Headline – look.
Interact – listen.
Character – understand.


It’s a nice metaphor my daughter gave me in learning to watch a young girl
become a woman in the world.


It applies to you too.
Everyday you shape the perception of the package.


Taking Experience Vitamins


There is no substitute
for experience


But there are vitamins

You go through the events to get the knowledge.
That takes time.

Exposure to lessons contained in events makes things personal to you and in that way
you instantly respect and care about them. It’s your view.

There are ways to circumvent experience and still make it personal however.
It’s the employment of one word that seems to be difficult for most to do well.

That word?


You can gain valuable lessons, interpretations and benefits of others’ experience by asking good questions and listening to the right influences. The discussion and your involvement in it IS now your experience to use.

The power of being in an actual occurrence carries more weight, but like a vitamin,
taking in another’s dose of valued interpretation, makes this a good supplement.
You get the condensed benefits of the insight without the potential pain or wasted time.
Good even if you only get a percentage of the overall merits.
When you end up getting to this experience in your future days, you will already have an opinion from which to draw.

Listen to experience.
Listen to experience.



The thing that makes this world so great is that everybody sees things their own way.
The thing that makes this world such a problem is that everybody wants things their own way.
My perspective is that it’s mostly shades of grey.
It’s not so Black and White as I notice many see it.
What is grey?
To me it is part black, part white. Inclusive, both.
Black is the lack of white or any other shade
and White is the lack of Black or any other shade. They are both exclusive, singular.

Now I don’t have the same patience for obstinate absolutists who will only accept
one way of thinking just the same as they don’t for us Greys.
Mostly because they don’t engage well with another point of view.
In my experience Greys will more likely engage, scratch the surface
with the people of opposite perspective.
Assuming a Grey doesn’t have well established, unchangeable B&W rules is a mistake.
Few of us really are experts or have a complete handle on things.

A B&W expert I recently encountered was so absolute that they showed no ability
to seek out information needed to come to a full understanding of the situation they were
advising on, and then relate with the information they had.
Sure they knew their craft but fell short in the ability to deliver with skills outside
of their expertise. Their B&W expertise, thus, was not wholly expert
because the B&W to Grey ratio was out of balance.

Grey acknowledges the variables

People are too complex to have it all figured out.
We’re all a mess to varying degrees.
The slide from dark grey to light grey is gradual.
You only really notice it when you look at the ends of that spectrum.
It takes time to go from light to dark grey because that’s how we work it.
Black to white on the other hand is easy to see.
That modus operandi is quick to appraise and call out. Then B&W’s are done,
moving on to the next thing. They’ve made that decision. What else is there? Do that.

Greys know there’s so much more info  – to make things better
not just to soothe their perspective.
The worst thing a Grey can do is get stuck in seeking too much info
and not make a decision.
That is the label a Grey carries.

That is what drives B&Ws crazy.
Actually, that drives everybody crazy.
You have to make a call with the info you have. Seek as much as you need to make a call.
A grey will always feel like there’s more info.

We both need each other.
The ability to listen to both methods at work in people
to be able to hear them and allow for a good decision
is bigger than our preference for the way we process it.

One thing I know:
The more I know, the more I know there is to know.

The more I know – that’s B&W.
The more there is to know – that’s grey.