Tag Archives: opinions

Changing Greys

Define Black, White and Grey

Did you ever have a strong opinion on something, state it for others to know about you and then come upon a piece of information in a video or an impassioned plea that changed your take?
I both love and don’t love when that happens.

First my reaction is – aw crap. Now what I said is making me the fool.
My second reaction is – well, it’s the same as I’ve always thought. My opinion can be a little of both in many cases.

It’s hard to have strong opinions because they generally mean you do not waiver. It’s a black and white opinion. Problem is, there are very few things that are that clear cut. Change mostly happens in the grey area. Most of the world and the opinions in it are forms of grey. Or is that gray – see?

This leads to inner peace that comes from an ability to both be flexible and still stand strong on opinions. It’s wise to set a few areas of higher importance. These are guiding our decisions. They are our principles. If you find those, they are hard to execute sometimes but you know that’s who you are.

You will not cheat on your spouse, or you will not harm people.
You will not… fill it in. Also, know your no matter what’s – the things you will do. These are based upon higher principles. They make the decisions that comes out of those principles easy to make.
The rest of the thousands of calls you have to make can be some of both sides.

I see it like this:
The highest/best and lowest/worst ends of the opinion and decision spectrum are black and white. They’re all the way out on the edge.
Their gravity keeps all the greys, or grays, contained in the middle.
Not having to be concerned about being right all the time brings peace through contentment.


The Reach

Reaching is extending yourself.
The cost is worth it.

Internal doubt

We know a little about you.
Certainly what we see isn’t what you see. You have more insight into you.
As people throw out drive by opinions, sometimes even one little harsh comment stays with you much longer than it does with the thrower. They’ve moved on from you.
You can move on from them too.


You are tough on yourself, aren’t you?
You can let a bad opinion of something you did creep into an evaluation on you.
We all do that.
We might not really understand you, the way you want to be understood –
the way you think you should be.
We know a little about you. What we see isn’t what you see.
You have more insight into you.


Internal turn around

Conversely, people are supportive of things you do too.
Let that stay with you and charge you up for awhile.
You’ll hear something good about yourself if you listen.
Pay attention to those who are in your corner.
You think you can do it, don’t you? Your opinion of what you did or what you wanna do is gonna be the best thing out there. What you can do with that acceptance is far reaching.


When you’re content to hear the right things and let the other stuff go, you can be a voice of encouragement to someone else who is trying to train that voice inside.
That voice inside is always acting up, it’s a child that could use your guidance.


When you’re trying, you’re extending yourself.
Extending yourself is growth. Lack of growth is atrophy.
Seek to grow.
Encourage along the way to promote growth.
First in yourself, then in others.


That’s the reach.


Is it your opinion
or a deeper belief?
There’s a huge difference.


I see bumper stickers for diversity and equality.
Good statements.
Those who place them on their bumpers are displaying a belief.
Do they mean it?
Have they thought about what that means in practice?
I hope so.
When you have a strong belief,
you are held to a standard based upon that conviction.


The layers of other bumper stickers underneath
For clarity, A thought is the first consideration of a topic.
It is the most easily changed.
An opinion  is one level deeper than a thought about a subject
It can also be changed, but with more repeated influence.
A belief is a deeply held conviction that has more to do with
how you view the world, and your place in it.
Beliefs are not easily changed.
Beliefs have more to say about who you are.


All of these are as diverse as the people that hold them.
You could say that these are among the top reasons why people are so diverse.


There is way more to disagree with because there are
far more thoughts than opinions and more opinions than beliefs.
If we can agree that everybody sees things differently,
then it’s easy to conclude that there are far more ways of looking
at something than our ability to agree with would allow.
There’s a lot to think through just to even get to an opinion,
much less the conviction of belief.


So as you stand strong and share an opinion,
you know that most people will refute it in their own mind.
That doesn’t denigrate the quality of your opinion.
You couldn’t get 100% agreement that 2+2=4.
Someone would vehemently disagree, from the philosophy of their belief.
Why are we so concerned with the fact that people oppose our opinion?
If we cling so tightly to it, arguing to gain compliance,
we can’t get as much done.
It’s time spent on the wrong thing.


There are some moments of give with an opinion
and some moments of standing strong on your beliefs.
Figuring all that out makes for an interesting day.


My opinion is that disagreeing is something to be considered.
It’s more information and not really all that threatening.
It’s honest communication.
Oh…that’s gotta be why.

It’s tied to one’s self-concept.
People deceive to shape what they want you to think
about them but don’t realize that it’s not what they really are.
Yeah? Maybe?

My thought toward a solution?
Speak unwaveringly, but kind, out of your beliefs.
Listen and discuss out of your opinions.
Work on your thoughts inside your head.


Hearing other thoughts, opinions and beliefs
may be worthy and push your world view.
I believe the pursuit of that goal will last a lifetime.
What do you think?


We are very sensitive these days.
With less social borders in our day
we call out people from our cars, computers
and phones. It seems as though people are
out giving their opinions everywhere.
I’m doing it now.

In so many cases I see publicly, or what is offered on TV or the interweb,
people just throw an opinion without another side, and without any
redeeming counter or question.
Worse, many people accept it as truth only because it was put in front of them.
I wonder if some people have just never been taught the art of tact, compassion,
or even the ability to get along.
This is tested daily when things don’t go like we want them to.

I didn’t get my way. So what?

The only productive thing to do when things don’t go like you want
is to move forward with as good of a situation as you can muster.
I say this to myself through this post.
Go ahead and get bothered, quickly, fine, but you gotta get on with things.

Sure there’s points where disrespect is so present that you need to
move away from it or call it out, but otherwise, push past the oversight if you can.
I try to stay quieter than normal and let actions be what you are judged by.
Not that I’m really that great at it but I know it’s the thing I have to do.
Trying gets me better at it.
This will thicken your skin. It thickens your skin by absorbing nutrients
through the weathering of storms. It’s hard to hang on.
It’s especially hard for extroverts who might react faster than introverts
but if you recognize it, you will find character in it.

Character is built when you do what’s right in the face of opposition
to your own tendencies.
Growing some character lets you grow into other directions you can’t get to
without the difficulty of forging through that process.
You don’t just go from undisciplined, bad behavior and destructive relationships to high character, disciplined and living on purpose without going through steps to set the habits.

I know, you try to get along and help others.
Your interaction in their lives is what makes you friends.
It’s a two-way street. If you’re outputting, you should have much input from them too.
This sharpens you both, right? Communication deepens relationships.

The people barking orders without accepting any input – those telling you what’s wrong with you – being overly critical, they call themselves realists. They’re living that out.
It’s the one bad apple out of a hundred that gets your attention.
The fruit in their lives is rotten.
It’s laying all over the ground and nobody is coming to pick it up.
Sad that they don’t realize that they can do something about it.
They don’t seem to have the tools to know when it’s good to plant (give)
and when it’s best to pick (take).
When their opinion isn’t accepted it makes them more bitter and
more convicted in their “bleakist” opinions.
If a softening doesn’t come from your influence, from your being honest
with them in a kind way, then you have to move away from them.
They will affect you.

These are extremes, I realize.
We all know these people though.
I think realizing extremes makes doing the tough stuff for those of us
in the middle easier to recognize and then do.

When fruit is ripe it comes off without resistance.
Too early and it’s a struggle – it’s still too green.
Too late and it’s already fallen away.
The reach takes some effort, and it is worth it.
Picking up what’s on the ground is effortless and what you get from it
isn’t nearly as good, in fact, often bad.

Expend a little energy – good fruit gives it back.

Reach up for your fruit.
It’s good for you.