Tag Archives: peace

Changing Greys

Define Black, White and Grey

Did you ever have a strong opinion on something, state it for others to know about you and then come upon a piece of information in a video or an impassioned plea that changed your take?
I both love and don’t love when that happens.

First my reaction is – aw crap. Now what I said is making me the fool.
My second reaction is – well, it’s the same as I’ve always thought. My opinion can be a little of both in many cases.

It’s hard to have strong opinions because they generally mean you do not waiver. It’s a black and white opinion. Problem is, there are very few things that are that clear cut. Change mostly happens in the grey area. Most of the world and the opinions in it are forms of grey. Or is that gray – see?

This leads to inner peace that comes from an ability to both be flexible and still stand strong on opinions. It’s wise to set a few areas of higher importance. These are guiding our decisions. They are our principles. If you find those, they are hard to execute sometimes but you know that’s who you are.

You will not cheat on your spouse, or you will not harm people.
You will not… fill it in. Also, know your no matter what’s – the things you will do. These are based upon higher principles. They make the decisions that comes out of those principles easy to make.
The rest of the thousands of calls you have to make can be some of both sides.

I see it like this:
The highest/best and lowest/worst ends of the opinion and decision spectrum are black and white. They’re all the way out on the edge.
Their gravity keeps all the greys, or grays, contained in the middle.
Not having to be concerned about being right all the time brings peace through contentment.


The Sharing of Experience


Sharing is the point where
experience brings value

Knowledge is the learning of information.
What we do with that knowledge is the value of information in our lives.
It may not be as simple as passing the information on to someone, like tutoring or mentoring through a skill. The constant pursuit of knowledge settles us. First because we’re not bored, idle, which leads to problems. More-so because we realize a deeper level of thoughts and see our place in the bigger picture.


Rather than over-valuing ourselves, we seek to settle in to one of the millions of ways we affect others by interacting. We may have an ability to be in conversations on many various topics of discussions with some knowledge on each.
We also may offer many other things by the experience of our settled pursuit of knowledge. Have you ever heard when someone recalls what you once said to them and you are struck by it? You feel the effect of your affect.
The result of gaining experience through knowledge brings the intangible value of connection.


Until the day we die we are growing in many ways.
Most of our body regenerates on a cellular level, we form new pathways in our brains by learning and experiencing.
We are setup to grow.


Growth promotes the learning of information.
Information brings knowledge.
Knowledge promotes action.
Action with knowledge brings experience.
Experience promotes a settled spirit – peace.
Peace brings value.
Value attracts Connection.
Connection brings you to new information where you begin again.
There is the circle.


Information, knowledge, action, experience, peace, value, connection.
The attraction of value draws those seeking any part of it’s process.


The Junker In My Life

Is Your Car You?

I’m hanging out with a friend who drives this wonderfully junky car.
Of course it’s got a name, and it should.
This person, I think, is maybe a little embarrassed by the car.
I guess I’m not sure but there’s usually some tone approaching apology about the car from them. Mostly, they don’t care that much.
Here’s the thing though, they live a life that most of us would like to be living.
They’re free to create, and they do. They’re surrounded by their fun choices, their works of art – which are many and in many forms. They live a rich life with many well developed relationships. They walk around town saying hi to people and engaging with people and laughing and having a good time. They’re not playing the game that often starts early in life with a car payment and keeping up with what others have.
Would they like to have a new car? Sure they would.
Would they be this way if they had money and were busy keeping up with the Joneses?
Maybe a little but almost certainly they would not be as engaged in the benefits of care-free living if they had increasingly more to lose. The pressure to keep it can often outweigh the acceptance of their current level.
We’ve all got some struggles, but I’ll take their happier life and a crappy car.
One day you can upgrade to a better car.
Finding the way to make that metaphorical, to be living the concept, is the pursuit.
How far along in life are we gonna get before we realize that a certain behavior is too deep seeded to change now?
How far along in life are we gonna get before we put the priority on the things that really matter?
It’s always such a contradiction that what we seek isn’t best for us to actually reach.
It’s the process that makes us.
Always having something to reach for, to better ourselves, is the value.
Reaching goals means you get to set new ones.
Should we keep fixing up this junker?
We’re all broken to some degree.
Even a new car has flaws.

The Cycle Of Friendship

Are you being a good friend?

It’s not easy to find a real lasting friend.
Friends come and friends go.
Some friendships burn bright and fade, some are because of the group of others around. Some are situational, during short periods of time when you are both teammates or on a project.


It starts from a shared interest or experience.
It lasts when the connection is below what’s seen.
And so we cycle through friendships looking for the qualities that energize us, lift us up, and allow us to share what we love doing with someone else who sees it the same way.


When you have a good friendship, you have given to it and taken from it at different times and in different amounts. If having a friend is in any way rewarding, then you have learned what it means to be a good friend. Being aware of it isn’t the same as the action of it. You understand it when you have received that reward back. Friendship is reciprocal. Fun is too.


If you go a level deeper in that thought, so too is negative reinforcement reciprocal. If you have someone calling you out and doing wrong to you and you stick around for any reason, you are going to engage in some form of negative positioning back.
Friendships assimilate. Friendship could be between two caustic and rude people too. Birds of a feather flock together.


Who your friends are and what you think of them reflects what you are thinking about yourself. Thinking highly of a friend means you are more likely to go out of your way for them, to do right by them and with the rule of reciprocity according to a good relationship, you will get that in return.


Parents, look at your kids’ friends to see where they are in their evaluation of themselves. Encourage good connections. Discourage ones that bring about results in behavior you want to steer them away from. For yourself, if your life is out of sorts in any way, consider who you are spending your time with. Changing that single thing will switch your outlook as the days go on.


Being around productive people is inspiring and brings peace. This is one of the keys to happiness.
Hang around people who can bring out your best and you will have gained something inside to give back to them.


Peddle the cycle of friendship.



I’m probably not as smart as you.


I don’t mean that to be all self-effacing.
People who read blogs of this kind
are usually seeking insight, knowledge or inspiration.
I know some things, did well in school,
but I am always surprised
by what I don’t know or forgot.


The more you know, the more you know you don’t know
Or stated more optimistically –
The more you know, the more you know there is to know.
My inner circle of friends are all smarter than I am.
I say that honestly.
Meaning in some areas over which we relate,
they have more knowledge that I do.
That’s how I gain knowledge, in part.
I study and put in the work and also hang with people
who are smart in the areas that interest me.
That’s jumping into the field, as I see it.


I was listening to the Dennis Miller radio show
and he was especially on this day.
I thought – there is a guy I’d love to hang with
but just wouldn’t be able to on an even level.
He uses words more better than me do.
I would be too aware of what I don’t know around him
and trying too hard to be funny doesn’t work.


So isn’t that the thing?
Who cares about all that?
I enjoy listening to his bon mot.
Some don’t.
Don’t be impressed, I had to find that word.
A good one though, ay? It means witticism, a clever remark.
I’ll bet Dennis Miller knows it and has used it before.


We get so wrapped up in what we’re not
that it gets in the way of what we are.
The best people for me to be around are those that
don’t care what anybody else thinks of them.
Or at least they act like it.
They live the saying I am so fond of –
What other people think of me is none of my business.
They go about their lives with the same doubts internally
as I’m talking about here but they don’t give in to them.
They accept them.
To a large degree they have battled with that unwinnable war
and settled themselves to be who they are.


Acceptance leads you forward
Their decision was made.
What they were doing was gonna happen.
They didn’t allow the small voice of doubt
to have any say in what their bigger mind was doing.
It allows you to step onstage, to push forward into the unknown.
Being smart is a proper goal but has less to do with it.
Many smart people cave to their fears or cannot control their behavior.
Peace with the opposition in you is the action to study.


Shape your thoughts first.
That starts to change what you tell yourself, then what you believe.
With belief, you can decide to do something you thought too tough.
That is when you will watch things happen and be amazed at what you did.
You might have never thought you could see it like this
but it’s gradual and inevitable once you decide to step into it.
It really is the only choice.




Take a cue if one’s available.
Mostly that means listen.


If somebody actually says that they are in a bit of a hurry
or they have to go, don’t spend their time.
If somebody’s on the phone, don’t start a conversation with them.
Don’t rearrange their desktop or sit at their computer and change things.
If a door’s closed, don’t barge in.
Maybe hold a door for someone.


Stunningly obvious, all this.
It used to be called manners.

I hope for a cultural resurgence.

It’s so unusually great when you see it that the person being nice
risks coming off as the bumbling Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

Being kind has it’s own rewards.
It’s called Peace.
We always need more of that.


I’m not a writer in the classic sense.
I’m just one that writes.
I have a lot of thoughts.

Not all of my thoughts are good enough to leave my brain box but some of them make sense enough to me that I want to pass it onto my kids or my friends and see what they do with it.

This era has given a voice to people who have previously only had small circles.
I have thoughts and I have plans with this blog but I’m not really sure where it’s going to take me – or you for that matter. I just know that when I sit down to write things,
things keep coming out. They always have.

As a talker, The words come out unfiltered and I seem to practice what I’m trying to convey as I hear myself say it. When I write I get to go back and edit and make my point maybe just a little clearer. I am kind of a rant machine but I hope you find it interesting and even
a little insightful.

It’s supposed to be a life thing – a little introspection, a little laughing, a little relation building. A little way to get peace from anger. A little way to find contentment through
the many challenges we all face. It’s just my take and you can take my take, or leave it.
I’m not for everybody and I’m alright with that. But I hope to build a viewership with you
out of the thoughts that used to just bounce around between my ever-furrier ears.

Thanks for joining me whenever you do and I hope in someway my thoughts can join you.

… Or not.