Tag Archives: value

The Awareness Cycle – Noticing without Judging

You can’t help but notice

You’re driving in traffic, then you stop at a stop light.
As cars going other directions pass by you, people actually turn their heads a bit to keep looking at you. I suppose we all do this.
I wonder about what I’ve seen in these split seconds seeing a face or a look. I glimpse into all these different people’s lives as they turn the pages for me in a drive-by.
There is information available about a person at first sight. It may be wrong or accurate, you don’t know, but it gives you a first thought.
You start with thoughts on them but quickly it turns to what you think. You get into your opinions and either reinforce or refute what went through your head.

I’m not saying to judge it

We look, we become aware of it. We think about it.
Noticing is not judging.
Bringing up an opinion you have for consideration is not judging either.
There is a distinction.
It’s open for information.
Judging is placing your opinion on someone else.
Having a closely held opinion or belief is a personal decision that you alone can mold, whereas judging is insisting that your values be in place in others lives – dangerous territory.
This is separate from laws under which we all maintain civility, mind you.
We take in what we see everywhere we go.
Noticing is step one, judging is step four.
Is this why people shop where they do – aligning with a particular store over a competitor, because “my kind of people” shop there?
The same with brands we use.
Are we making evaluations of our associations in the marketplace over other reasons?
I propose that we are more often than we think.
There are several factors but many will pay more to shop at one store simply because they want to be seen there and not seen at the other store.
Does this approach carry into other areas of relationships?
This creeps into judgement territory.
Fitting in is a double-edged sword that extends beyond high school.
Aside from the moral complications, it’s too much drama that’s allowed in.
I want to be active in the first three steps but I don’t want to live in step four.
I do the same thing at Wal-Mart that I do when the car passes me or when I’m stopped at an intersection – I look, I probably turn my head a little, sometimes I just say wow.
Saying wow is step three. If it becomes step four, its time to back up.
Step 1 – Notice
Step 2 – Process what information we have.
Step 3 – Consider your opinions, shape them into beliefs.
Step 4 – Judging
ooh, squirrel! – there’s something else to notice.

The Sharing of Experience


Sharing is the point where
experience brings value

Knowledge is the learning of information.
What we do with that knowledge is the value of information in our lives.
It may not be as simple as passing the information on to someone, like tutoring or mentoring through a skill. The constant pursuit of knowledge settles us. First because we’re not bored, idle, which leads to problems. More-so because we realize a deeper level of thoughts and see our place in the bigger picture.


Rather than over-valuing ourselves, we seek to settle in to one of the millions of ways we affect others by interacting. We may have an ability to be in conversations on many various topics of discussions with some knowledge on each.
We also may offer many other things by the experience of our settled pursuit of knowledge. Have you ever heard when someone recalls what you once said to them and you are struck by it? You feel the effect of your affect.
The result of gaining experience through knowledge brings the intangible value of connection.


Until the day we die we are growing in many ways.
Most of our body regenerates on a cellular level, we form new pathways in our brains by learning and experiencing.
We are setup to grow.


Growth promotes the learning of information.
Information brings knowledge.
Knowledge promotes action.
Action with knowledge brings experience.
Experience promotes a settled spirit – peace.
Peace brings value.
Value attracts Connection.
Connection brings you to new information where you begin again.
There is the circle.


Information, knowledge, action, experience, peace, value, connection.
The attraction of value draws those seeking any part of it’s process.


Read The Room

What’s really happening?
Right now.

There’s a tone to the surroundings and other people’s thoughts in operation.
How are people responding to each other, to you – it’s not too hard to tell when you’re looking for it.
In general and for the next six months of your future – do this:
Learn to read it.
It adds up to obvious.

Whose vision is being worked on?

If you and your perspective are a part of the team, you are working together on a
shared vision. You have a voice. If you are executing anothers vision, you need to be in alignment with that vision, at least enough to do your best work towards that goal.
Your input is valued, if not for the vision, then for your work towards it.
If there is little or no value given to you for your input on either vision or work, trouble is afoot. It’s a ticking clock before you will notice the damage. It’s sad too because a simple show of respect is so easy to do. It’s noticed when it’s real and from the heart. But if it’s contrived, reading the room will show it for what it really is. And it ain’t good.
Respect and being valued are in many ways more valuable than money.
Being valued, mind you, does show itself in monetary ways. There is appreciation to keep you that’s included in your compensation. But money is where many stop and to miss that there is more to the equation is to miss the point of value.
The ship you’re on might well be sinking.
Or you might be in a rowboat always trying to catch up. If you quit and change course now,
you might think, you’re stranded in the ocean while the ship pulls further out of sight.
Maybe you’re in the industry you love but the vessel you’ve chosen will strand you –
that’s the irony of dying of thirst while in an ocean surrounded by water you can’t drink.
Act while your choices are better rather than being unprepared due to lack of understanding of what’s happening around you.
Now is always your best time.
Look around you for a place to land. Island hopping is smaller – lateral moves.
Otherwise you have to row through a sea change.
If you are being valued, appreciate it. If not, change it.
Success of any measure involves frequent evaluation.
Reading the room means considering what you see and hear.
Things are way more obvious than most think.
Stay afloat.
Stay headed in the right direction.

Scanning For Connection

Our attention spans have been shortened.
We live in a soundbite culture now.
We scan content, looking for a something to grab our attention.
What’s beyond the headline or the first few lines?


Compounding Connection

The things under the surface are what you build value upon.
The depth in the seeking, required to get to the multi-faceted source is what allows you to know what’s real amidst consideration of all the sides available.
That is the complexity of the human dynamic.
Enclosed in there is the main point, the honey of the beehive,
with all the stinging protection of vulnerability keeping us from it.
Through that work, is where real connection occurs.


Connection is allowing however. Even far less deep methods still form something
foundational to bind to. Connection on any level is what can change people.
It’s levels of depth hold it’s value.
Value is worth it’s price – but only those willing to pursue it and give some of their own value in return will find parts of the whole to lift them.
That lift is unimaginable until you find it, and then, realizing it’s ability, you work to find more small parts to propel you to great places you didn’t know of.


Once you find a person’s headline, and it brings you to their first few lines,
decide to connect.
It always has worth and you’ll seek it more.
Bits of what we all seek are in there.



Of more value than money.
More constant than feelings.


It’s the only thing we all have equal amounts of every day.
Time is what you have.
Time is also the cost.
All else results from your spending of it.


Quite a lot of being a good spouse, parent or friend
is just being there.
…remember that time?


You invest by the use of it.
Success of any kind is a result of the amount of it you put in.
Value is created by your use of it.
It’s what focus is – concentrated activity.


What are you doing later?
How about now?
How will you pay for it?


Turns out I can write better cards than Hallmark.
Their writers aren’t living my life.

When I have a good thought about someone in my circle of friends,
a practice I use is to let them know it.

It’s ironic that we have more communication tools and means than ever before
but our practice of communication is weaker than in the past.
It’s a human tool not simply machinery.

Think of it, how often do you get a text or email or phone message
where someone is telling you what a benefit you are to them in any way?

That thought that you had about that person came to you for some reason.
Act on it and see what happens.

Relationship is about being vulnerable/honest enough to tell the truth, good or bad.
If it’s easy to tell someone what they did wrong, that’s not nearly as constructive
as you think.

Being convinced against your will isn’t being convinced.

Telling them what you like about them or value, that would be affirming
and strengthen your ability to be listened to later if they did something
needing corrective input.

It’s easier than ever now.
I’ll shoot a text message when that happens to me.
When I get some of that back, I might reply that I’m glad to have thought of them today,
even just this quickly.
It’s funny how good conversations you have with trusted friends
seem to contain the very thing you need to hear.

I had a discussion with a good friend that shaped my thoughts due to their wisdom.

After having dinner with friends, I’ll text them later what I liked about our time,
a good line of the night or just that I appreciated it.
Very simple and not sappy. Real.

It’s what I love about New York – the ability to be real.
No problem telling you anything, good or bad.
The mindset seems to be – There’s things to do. I gotta get to ’em.
The result is that you know where you stand and you have the chance
to feel appreciated by those in your circle.

You have an affect others, make it a bond strengthening one.


There’s always one.
Whiners whine.
They don’t realize there is another way, I guess.

Whiners are people who try making their problems yours to handle.
Their problems are manufactured by what they will not do.
It’s grinding to be near.
There is a constant stream of helplessness in a new situation,
and new = bad.

There is a crisis when a problem is encountered, when things don’t go as expected,
and when perfection is not reached.
Problems are an every day occurrence.
Yet, somehow people always seem to kick in and help the whiner.
The whiner gets upset because they overprice the doubt we all feel
when we don’t know how to fix something at that moment.
Rather than try, or learn, their inability to control their emotional state,
combined with a minor panic, leads them to the repeating pattern
of getting others to fix their problem so they can get back to their
safety float zone inside the buoys.

I’m not talking about training in a job, I’m talking about a way of life.
They’re surrounded by their bad choices.
They are usually victims and they usually wonder why this is happening to them.
Every job has at least one, and often more, to varying degrees.

The Value In Not Helping

I’ve spent years thinking that I was helping these people by helping these people.
It has ended up where at one point they get mad at you for not properly fixing their issue
the way they thought it should be fixed. If a different issue arises because of your changes,
you will be held in contempt for doing things that created the problem.

Stay as far away from the inside game of these individuals as you can.
You cannot win.
Do what you must and move away.
Save yourself from the I can’t brigade.

The best way they could solve their own problems is if they run out of help.

You and your services are not for everyone.
That too is a way of thinking.
You can only be of benefit to those who are seeking the benefit.

Value yourself enough to realize who can benefit from an interaction with you.
A good interaction is when you benefit from them as well. That is what works best.
Even works of charity, when well received, allows you to gain from the interaction.
I can learn from every person but I’d rather learn things of value
rather than learning what not to do.
While there is value in noticing what not to do, it’s mostly draining.

The truth is, their choice isn’t I can’t , it’s I won’t.
Fix your mind to be set apart from the whiner.
When you tell yourself I can and I will, you surprisingly find a way.
It’s passing the speedbumps on the way to finding the answers
that fills our lives with renewed wonder and confidence to move towards new things.

I don’t say whine, I say whine not.


I was writing a business email and the other person in the room was looking over my shoulder at my composition.
As I’m writing this particular email, out comes a comment. Something like, “I love how you write each sentence on it’s own line.” Which most likely means, “It bugs me how you write each sentence on it’s own line.”
So that got me thinking about why I do that.
It helps convey my meaning in this medium.
Every medium has it’s own best ways to communicate.
I break the lines how I want them to be read. It reads differently on a phone, tablet
or computer based on how you physically interact with the copy.
The complexities of current day written communication involve writing for Twitter,
Facebook, You Tube, Instagram, LinkedIn, text, email and many more even. Each has their own best method.  I know that proper writing should handle things just fine. People don’t read proper English the same anymore but they will respond to periods, line breaks and will brake for the em-dash like a speed-bump. In my experience most people don’t write digitally with many rules. It is done for a report or a proposal but not an email or text. Communication is my purpose. I write like I talk.
I am thus responsible, in part, for a new method replacing and older, tried and true
standard in my small world.
To an English teacher or Professor I am the equivalent of “ugh, the kids these days…”
Know who you’re talking to and write like they will best hear you. However you decide to do that, be yourself in the pursuit of each site’s best ways of being understood,
and consider the devices used to read your material. You have something to say and we want to hear it. You being your best value to us is wanted.
Write it down, let us hear from you.