You can’t help but notice
You’re driving in traffic, then you stop at a stop light.
As cars going other directions pass by you, people actually turn their heads a bit to keep looking at you. I suppose we all do this.
I wonder about what I’ve seen in these split seconds seeing a face or a look. I glimpse into all these different people’s lives as they turn the pages for me in a drive-by.
There is information available about a person at first sight. It may be wrong or accurate, you don’t know, but it gives you a first thought.
You start with thoughts on them but quickly it turns to what you think. You get into your opinions and either reinforce or refute what went through your head.
I’m not saying to judge it
We look, we become aware of it. We think about it.
Noticing is not judging.
Bringing up an opinion you have for consideration is not judging either.
There is a distinction.
It’s open for information.
Judging is placing your opinion on someone else.
Having a closely held opinion or belief is a personal decision that you alone can mold, whereas judging is insisting that your values be in place in others lives – dangerous territory.
This is separate from laws under which we all maintain civility, mind you.
We take in what we see everywhere we go.
Noticing is step one, judging is step four.
Is this why people shop where they do – aligning with a particular store over a competitor, because “my kind of people” shop there?
The same with brands we use.
Are we making evaluations of our associations in the marketplace over other reasons?
I propose that we are more often than we think.
There are several factors but many will pay more to shop at one store simply because they want to be seen there and not seen at the other store.
Does this approach carry into other areas of relationships?
This creeps into judgement territory.
Fitting in is a double-edged sword that extends beyond high school.
Aside from the moral complications, it’s too much drama that’s allowed in.
I want to be active in the first three steps but I don’t want to live in step four.
I do the same thing at Wal-Mart that I do when the car passes me or when I’m stopped at an intersection – I look, I probably turn my head a little, sometimes I just say wow.
Saying wow is step three. If it becomes step four, its time to back up.
Step 1 – Notice
Step 2 – Process what information we have.
Step 3 – Consider your opinions, shape them into beliefs.
Step 4 – Judging
ooh, squirrel! – there’s something else to notice.